I like these types of posts they serve as a nice clearing house for my brain meats. So lets see.
1st) I decided what the new SLA game session I want to write is going to be about. It is going to be a game session that will be disighened for a larger group of people. I think it is going to be neat. It is also going to be one of those things that they will horribly horribly fuck up because they are all kinda dumb. I love them but god damn.
2nd!) I am going to start writing the shadow run game sessions. They are fun! I figgure if I get through two then I am totally getting myself some of those books. I want to have cybernetic hands that crawl around and do shit! That is to cool for school. I am pretty excited about it. I also kinda want to start getting up on the whole world building thing for the summer D20 game. That will be nice because something like that will be able to support a larger player base. I kinda have some ideas as to how I want the world to work and I have some other ideas as to how I want the game to work out but I suppose I should get a jump on getting shit written down. Like I need to get things like goblin/orc encampments written out and all that other stuff. Neat!
3rd) I want to get back into doing the chinese calligraphy thing again. I was going to start back up last night but my brain just was...oh hey go watch this http://ow.ly/19gj1. I am perfectly aware that I can embed videos but whatever I don't feel like scrolling up to the top of the screen to make that happen. I don't care. So yeah chinese calligraphy. I am totally ready to start that again, for real this time. I still need to pick up some ink though. I am not adverse to grinding my own ink, I find it very relaxing, almost medatative. But when I just want to practice brush strokes for an hour or so it gets pretty fucking irritating.
4th) I am not sure why I number these things it always seemed pretty wierd to me. I just realized how insanely inaccurate my typing is. Oh well. I am kinda sad about that and I suppose I should just blame my tiny keyboard rather than my own personal faults. I'm okay with that though.
5th) The geek writting is taking over. This is due to a number of factors. 1, my subscription to Time Magazine has run out and I changed my credit card information because that is easier to do than it is to call them and tell them I don't want to give them money anymore. I kinda wanna switch to Harpers and the Atlantic either way the influx of political discourse is at a low.
6th) I have been really interested in the idea of the enfleshed mind. Last night I went and took some of my view points for a spin. Being as tired as I was I am not even sure I made sense and I am kinda afraid to go back and read it. Terrifying. Still though, it is something I am interested in. It seems to me that it is something that gets down to the core of how people precive the world. Not so much the mind being in the body but the concept of the body itself. The idea that the body is whole, and that the mind is a unified part of that whole. It isn't. Here is the thing though, should it be? That is where one of the major stumbling blocks are. How far should we modify the body to the mind or the mind to the body, which do we privalage and why? I am one of those people who privalges the mind over the body. It isn't
Showing posts with label box of cockroaches. Show all posts
Showing posts with label box of cockroaches. Show all posts
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Woah woah woah, okay A/R/F
Abort, Retry, Fail. If you are an Alpha Centrui fan then you know the correct answer :). FYI if you ever want to impress me the answer is retry always retry.
Okay so now then moving on. So I was sitting at home earlier playing dungeon fighter and I was having a grand old time with myself. Then something clicked, I wanted to have a grand old time tomarrow night too, and I could. All I had to do was stay home and everything would work out the way I wanted it to. Then I realized I had been spending more and more time alone. Heck ever since I got back from New Orleans I have been paticularly withdrawn. So breaking the cycle, I am now here in Books a Million writing. This may not really look like a big deal to you but whatever. Getting myself to leave the house is a major event for me. Its funny, once I am home it is equally difficult to get me to say run an errand as it was the first time I went up to New Orleans at the drop of a hat with no prior planning or knowlage on my part. It is all difficult and sometimes, just sometimes I wish a few of those basic mundane things weren't still so bloody hard. No matter. I know that if all those normal things were easy for me then there would be so many things about my current life that I would find just impossible.
I've never written a love letter. Tonight I change that.
I also want to start doing chinese calligraphy again. I want to do both of these things, if I suceed at one well enough I'll be able to intergrate one into the other! That's exciting. I am having trouble concentrating, and I think I know why. Onwards to purification! It is the only way.
This is a box of cockroaches kind of night tonight. This doesn't bother me though, I like seeing where my mind goes.
So today I finally got around to watching "The Host". I have this amazing fascination with seeing how the rest of the world precieves Americans. Take "In Bruges" for example. The three Americans in that movie were a herd of elephants, agressive, and generally pretty american. In The Host however, they were something very diffrent. See the host is a giant monster movie. Okay well more accuratly it is a medium sized monster movie. The point is this monster just flies up out of the Han river (that's in Korea for all you non geography freaks) and begins eating people. This is within the first 15 minuts of the movie. The thing is though America forms the movie's second monster. And jesus, they had us nailed down to a T. I really don't know where that saying comes from and upon typing it out it looks really stupid. Nailed down to a t what is that a crucifixion reffrence or something? Man I hope so that would be hilarious.
Moving back to the topic, before the actual monster shows up, the movie opens up with a lab tech talking to a lab supervisor. The tech being Korean and the supervisor being extra American. The supervisor, who hates dust, demands that all the dusty formaldehyde bottles be dumped out into the sink. This sink leads to the sewers which in turn leads to the Han river. The movie never connects this scene to the rest of the movie which is good, otherwise I would of hated it. It was more like an aside, a commentary. Here we have waste, pollution, both of with are unessisary being dumped by a larger power onto a smaller one, and the smaller one having to deal with it.
It is a nice elegant little scene. So when later the giant mutated fish comes stomping out of the water you know it isn't just the formaldehyde but our tradition of waste doesn't help. I love the fact that it was an american who ordered the polluting, after all we are one of if not the biggest source of waste in the world. Its good stuff.
It doesn't end there, though it could of. There is also a moment where an American serviceman dies as a result of a conflict with the thing. All the sudden, America swoops in like an ocean of red white and blue declaring the Korean government's inability to deal with the problem intolerable and decides to dump Agent Orange, a biological weapon on the monster. That last sentence either needs semicolons or it needs to be broken up. However, I forgot my mouse at home and I don't like the touchpad. I just thought that you would like to know that I know about some of the mistakes I make.
Of course the Korean people protest, AS THEY SHOULD, I mean we are dumping a majorly toxic biological weapon on their city because one American died. The thing is though? That is how it goes down. Right there. See I get it.
From an american view point we don't get it. When someone dies overseas the average person doesn't even register it. All we know is that there will be some sort of increased military presecense in the area. In the movie though, that man's death represented a major turning point. All the sudden it was "Oh shit America is coming". Its an effect that I don't think any of us living on the inside could ever really understand. I guess, try to imagine some Chinese nationals getting iced over in Boston and all the sudden we have the Chinese army in our country demanding to know whats going on and where their money is. See its scary. It is a reality we don't live with, but countries under our thumb do and it is all well and good until someone dies.
The sad thing is that I would of missed this. All of it would to tottaly gone over my head and I'd be writing about something else right now. The only reason why I caught it is because I was reading The Loosers earlier. It is a comic book, essentially it is a comic book action movie. It has just enough intelegence to it to keep my interest and just enough action to make it awesome. I've read it three times now. Anyway there is a moment when they are in Quatar and the King asks the Loosers to go save a group of CIA agents from some terrorists. See if any one of the Americans died then all of america would be up Quatar's ass and everything would be impossible for everyone. Essentially it was a set up where the good guys had to go shoot at bad guys for while. It was fun! It wasn't until a little bit later when I am watching a movie and I see what happens when someone dies that I got the picture. I mean we were the secondary fucking monster in that movie. Jesus.
It is quite an amazing movie, stupid sad though. What the fuck.
The thing is I didn't even start to emcompass just how big of dicks we come across in that movie. It is pretty intense though. I almost want to get a bunch of post colonial theory out and write about it. I might actually, that sounds really neat. I wish I knew how to get in touch with professor Braun. She would love this movie. I don't miss many people but I do miss her. She was so happy when I handed her a copy of Ziezek's A Pervert's Guide to Cinema. She started off telling me about how it might take her awhile to get it back to me, but then when I told he she could have it her voice just lit up. Made my fucking day.
She would like the movie.
Okay so here we are reminising about the past. I guess it is time to move on.
Okay so now then moving on. So I was sitting at home earlier playing dungeon fighter and I was having a grand old time with myself. Then something clicked, I wanted to have a grand old time tomarrow night too, and I could. All I had to do was stay home and everything would work out the way I wanted it to. Then I realized I had been spending more and more time alone. Heck ever since I got back from New Orleans I have been paticularly withdrawn. So breaking the cycle, I am now here in Books a Million writing. This may not really look like a big deal to you but whatever. Getting myself to leave the house is a major event for me. Its funny, once I am home it is equally difficult to get me to say run an errand as it was the first time I went up to New Orleans at the drop of a hat with no prior planning or knowlage on my part. It is all difficult and sometimes, just sometimes I wish a few of those basic mundane things weren't still so bloody hard. No matter. I know that if all those normal things were easy for me then there would be so many things about my current life that I would find just impossible.
I've never written a love letter. Tonight I change that.
I also want to start doing chinese calligraphy again. I want to do both of these things, if I suceed at one well enough I'll be able to intergrate one into the other! That's exciting. I am having trouble concentrating, and I think I know why. Onwards to purification! It is the only way.
This is a box of cockroaches kind of night tonight. This doesn't bother me though, I like seeing where my mind goes.
So today I finally got around to watching "The Host". I have this amazing fascination with seeing how the rest of the world precieves Americans. Take "In Bruges" for example. The three Americans in that movie were a herd of elephants, agressive, and generally pretty american. In The Host however, they were something very diffrent. See the host is a giant monster movie. Okay well more accuratly it is a medium sized monster movie. The point is this monster just flies up out of the Han river (that's in Korea for all you non geography freaks) and begins eating people. This is within the first 15 minuts of the movie. The thing is though America forms the movie's second monster. And jesus, they had us nailed down to a T. I really don't know where that saying comes from and upon typing it out it looks really stupid. Nailed down to a t what is that a crucifixion reffrence or something? Man I hope so that would be hilarious.
Moving back to the topic, before the actual monster shows up, the movie opens up with a lab tech talking to a lab supervisor. The tech being Korean and the supervisor being extra American. The supervisor, who hates dust, demands that all the dusty formaldehyde bottles be dumped out into the sink. This sink leads to the sewers which in turn leads to the Han river. The movie never connects this scene to the rest of the movie which is good, otherwise I would of hated it. It was more like an aside, a commentary. Here we have waste, pollution, both of with are unessisary being dumped by a larger power onto a smaller one, and the smaller one having to deal with it.
It is a nice elegant little scene. So when later the giant mutated fish comes stomping out of the water you know it isn't just the formaldehyde but our tradition of waste doesn't help. I love the fact that it was an american who ordered the polluting, after all we are one of if not the biggest source of waste in the world. Its good stuff.
It doesn't end there, though it could of. There is also a moment where an American serviceman dies as a result of a conflict with the thing. All the sudden, America swoops in like an ocean of red white and blue declaring the Korean government's inability to deal with the problem intolerable and decides to dump Agent Orange, a biological weapon on the monster. That last sentence either needs semicolons or it needs to be broken up. However, I forgot my mouse at home and I don't like the touchpad. I just thought that you would like to know that I know about some of the mistakes I make.
Of course the Korean people protest, AS THEY SHOULD, I mean we are dumping a majorly toxic biological weapon on their city because one American died. The thing is though? That is how it goes down. Right there. See I get it.
From an american view point we don't get it. When someone dies overseas the average person doesn't even register it. All we know is that there will be some sort of increased military presecense in the area. In the movie though, that man's death represented a major turning point. All the sudden it was "Oh shit America is coming". Its an effect that I don't think any of us living on the inside could ever really understand. I guess, try to imagine some Chinese nationals getting iced over in Boston and all the sudden we have the Chinese army in our country demanding to know whats going on and where their money is. See its scary. It is a reality we don't live with, but countries under our thumb do and it is all well and good until someone dies.
The sad thing is that I would of missed this. All of it would to tottaly gone over my head and I'd be writing about something else right now. The only reason why I caught it is because I was reading The Loosers earlier. It is a comic book, essentially it is a comic book action movie. It has just enough intelegence to it to keep my interest and just enough action to make it awesome. I've read it three times now. Anyway there is a moment when they are in Quatar and the King asks the Loosers to go save a group of CIA agents from some terrorists. See if any one of the Americans died then all of america would be up Quatar's ass and everything would be impossible for everyone. Essentially it was a set up where the good guys had to go shoot at bad guys for while. It was fun! It wasn't until a little bit later when I am watching a movie and I see what happens when someone dies that I got the picture. I mean we were the secondary fucking monster in that movie. Jesus.
It is quite an amazing movie, stupid sad though. What the fuck.
The thing is I didn't even start to emcompass just how big of dicks we come across in that movie. It is pretty intense though. I almost want to get a bunch of post colonial theory out and write about it. I might actually, that sounds really neat. I wish I knew how to get in touch with professor Braun. She would love this movie. I don't miss many people but I do miss her. She was so happy when I handed her a copy of Ziezek's A Pervert's Guide to Cinema. She started off telling me about how it might take her awhile to get it back to me, but then when I told he she could have it her voice just lit up. Made my fucking day.
She would like the movie.
Okay so here we are reminising about the past. I guess it is time to move on.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Clearing the Decks
So I've tried to write the Superheroics/Transhuman blog twice now and I've failed both times. I've also failed at writting two other posts. So that definatly means break time. Not so much that I will be taking a break from writing period, just the blogging thing, which to be fair, I do more than any other thing under the sun. I have rpgs, letters, and stories to write so I am going to focus on them for a bit. Before I do there are several things I want to say.
1) I am still doing the month in review, I'll do that tonight though.
2) Ghost hunting shows. I honestly can't remeber if I said this before or not but the science behind them seems off. For example they only search the visual spectrum instead of say the infared specturm or something like that. There is also no real study into what exactly happens when they make the room go cold. Lastly, light needs something to reflect off of right? I mean that is how light works. Ergo if you can see a ghost then there has to be something there that is causing the light to reflect off of. If they can speak then they have to have some way of creating soundwaves. Looking into both of these things would actually answer questions, instead of just sticking cameras in haunted houses.
3) The new VTES expansion comes out on Wensday! I am really excited. Tonight I am going to go see if I can find a place to preorder them. Oddly enough I can't do it through white wolf.com. Though they are kind of an idiotic company so who knows.
4) I am so utterly frusterated by the current generation of game systems. The ps3 is a system with more horse power but because it is so annoying to design games for stuff ends up running better on the much older less powerful x-box 360. Then there is the wii. Worst of all everyone thinks that this is the future of gaming when it isn't. It is annoying.
5) Its funny that I like J-music. I mean at the end of the day the pillows is really nothing more than Blink-182 or any other pop punk bands that we make fun of over here. What redeems japanese music is the fact that they cheerfully abandon the need to make sense. If you listen to the english lyrics they sometimes have they...are amazing. But not in a "makes sense" sort of way. The japanese lyrics, when translated to english still don't make sense. Even the songs that make an effort to make sense keep a rather tenuous hold on the whole logic thing. Anyway. One thing that I think the surrealists really failed to account for what the world would look like if they suceeded. Oh well I want to do something special for that.
K decks are mostly cleared.
1) I am still doing the month in review, I'll do that tonight though.
2) Ghost hunting shows. I honestly can't remeber if I said this before or not but the science behind them seems off. For example they only search the visual spectrum instead of say the infared specturm or something like that. There is also no real study into what exactly happens when they make the room go cold. Lastly, light needs something to reflect off of right? I mean that is how light works. Ergo if you can see a ghost then there has to be something there that is causing the light to reflect off of. If they can speak then they have to have some way of creating soundwaves. Looking into both of these things would actually answer questions, instead of just sticking cameras in haunted houses.
3) The new VTES expansion comes out on Wensday! I am really excited. Tonight I am going to go see if I can find a place to preorder them. Oddly enough I can't do it through white wolf.com. Though they are kind of an idiotic company so who knows.
4) I am so utterly frusterated by the current generation of game systems. The ps3 is a system with more horse power but because it is so annoying to design games for stuff ends up running better on the much older less powerful x-box 360. Then there is the wii. Worst of all everyone thinks that this is the future of gaming when it isn't. It is annoying.
5) Its funny that I like J-music. I mean at the end of the day the pillows is really nothing more than Blink-182 or any other pop punk bands that we make fun of over here. What redeems japanese music is the fact that they cheerfully abandon the need to make sense. If you listen to the english lyrics they sometimes have they...are amazing. But not in a "makes sense" sort of way. The japanese lyrics, when translated to english still don't make sense. Even the songs that make an effort to make sense keep a rather tenuous hold on the whole logic thing. Anyway. One thing that I think the surrealists really failed to account for what the world would look like if they suceeded. Oh well I want to do something special for that.
K decks are mostly cleared.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Well Okay so that's Odd
Over the last couple of days I've been feeling really strange. I think it has to do with how much soda I've been drinking. Cutting back on that starting tomarrow. Its just that I ran out of viteman water and I hate going to the store. Speaking of which I need to start buying that shit at Walmart cause Publix seems to think we are all made of money or something. I hate Publix so much, seriously from the bottom of my soul.
Oh well lets move on.
It is 2am! And I had many plans for how to spend this last little bit of wakefullness before heading to sleep and for some reason I am here writing. Strange no? You know from poking around other people's blogs I've come to realize that it is customary to put pictures up that are either pretty or somehow relate to your post. What is up with that? Where did it come from? And where the hell does everyone get their pictures from? I don't like looking at pictures on the internet it infects my brain and I can't stop doing it easily. It feels a bit like crack. I dunno it is just not very enjoyable to me. So my blog will go pictureless.
Though if I were to do it I would prolly just go to google and type in a random word and use the 42nd image. ACTUALLY that does sound like a neat thing to do. Maybe 42 days before Douglas Adam's birthday I could type a random word, use the 42nd image and write a blog about whatever the hell is up there. Though this project seems more suited to Burroughs we'll put those trivial sorts of facts aside. I know Burroughs would of, he's a junkie he does things like that. I'm really not a fan of the beats. Its strange because I really do love arbitrary ramblings. I really really do. Yet, at its core, there seems to be something very toxic about the beats. It isn't anything I could put my finger on, but it is something I always kind of felt long before I understood what exactly the beat movement was or who is a part of it. I came across Howl, Naked Lunch, and some other things at very diffrent times in my life and I always tied them together as similar but never as the same movement. I also was impressed with the way they all seem to have this dark undercurrent of destruction.
Undercurrents of destruction are commonplace in surrealism. It is no accident that Jan Svankmajer adapted Faust and Alice in Wonderland. Faust especially is a highly destructive story, and Alice is filmed with an eye on ruin and despair. But their dispair and the one suffered by the beats always seemed very diffrent to me. For the beats it seemed almost unconsious. Like they didn't realize that they were on a path to utter destruction and no one was really doing anything to stop it. Or something. I don't know. I actually haven't read/studied much of the beats. Their kink is not my own. A lot of people seem to get excited about them for the plain and simple reason that drugs were involved.
Drugs do have that really interesting mystique around them I'm not going to deny it. I mean it is coincidence that I own Spun, Trainspotting, Requiuem for a Dream, Naked Lunch, and Fear and Loathing. I love these movies. I also love mafia movies that show how the inclusion of drugs ruins mafia life. Goodfellas is the perfect example of this though there are others. Still it seems to me that to be fascinated by Naked Lunch because a whole lot of drugs were taken while it was being written is a little sad/odd to me. There is much more to the book than drugs, much like there is much more to each of the movies I mentioned other than drugs. Spun in particular. I love that movie because it really shows this sort of sad, terrible, crumpled group of people who wouldn't actually be that bad if they weren't so fried on meth.
Drugs work in the opposite of sex in a way. Add drugs to something and there will be a subsection of people who are immediately drawn to and fascinated by it. Add a lot of sex to something and people freak out and run. Try bringing up Lost Girls to people who know what it is. I can't tell you the number to times I've gotten immediately dismissive viewpoints solely based on the amount of sex the characters of the book have. They pay no attention to the historical detail, story telling, or the fascinating way he turns three victorian books upside down. Nor does anyone pay atension to the time period the books take place in, or anything else. Their immediate response is RAWR SEX R BAD. Woo my spelling is extra bad tonight! I wonder why?
It occurs to me that there are people who are immediately turned off by drug usage. evan for example. Man I hate starting sentences with his name. But I find him to be more the exception than the rule. It is also founded on something where I find that most people's obsession with drugs is just silly.
Then again I have a complete disinterest in doing them. That is one of those strange things. What is the difference between the people who can do them and walk away, do them and get addicted, and people who don't care about them at all. The people who can do them and just get addicted are the least interesting to me. Its a story we've all heard a thousand times before. However, what about the person who can just start and stop at will. Who will one night do a line of coke, and another night decline because it simply doesn't interest them. See that's interesting. Of course I am of the mind that nothing is so great that I would want to become a slave to it. Nor would I ever take some random drugs offered to me by strangers. Man you don't know what people do with that shit.
Oh well it is one of those fundamentally alien viewpoints. Like the time time I was talking to this swinger dude. I was saying how, "I don't understand what is with your compulsion for extra marital sex". He got offended that I called it a compulsion. Fortunatly, I was on my toes that day and I told him, "See what I mean about an alien mindset, I can't imagine wanting to have sex with most people I meet without it being a compulsion". We didn't get much further because he had to go and I never saw him again. Still it was interesting though. Truth be told I think I hit a little close to home with the compulsion thing.
No matter. I think part of a relationship is finding someone who will enable your desires while accepting your flaws, and vice versa of course. Yes of course there is more to relationships than that. That just happens to be a nice part of them. Its why I decided that I wasn't dating any non geek girls anymore. They just don't get it, and I mean after fighting all those years with my parents and then with other various girlfriends I had enough. They got do so something be it read comics, play video/bord games, roleplay, just something. Something where they have a hobby, a thing that they do and enjoy so that they understand that yes I want to spend this much money on little plastic figures rather than something practical. Or something like that. Man I don't even know what some of those fights were about. WHATEVER. No wannabie geeks either. There is nothing I hate more than when people will take a superficial interest in what I am doing just so that they can get closer to me. That is a quick way to piss me off. I once chewed out a cell phone salesman for that. That and he was being a dick to one of his employees. On the one hand I feel bad for cell phone sales people, on the other hand when I say no thankyou, then I hear a manager start badgering the poor girl because she didn't chase after me like an asshole, that's when the self rightous dickhead in me rears forth.
I hate shitty managers.
Moving on again. As expected this has been a rough week. Apparently my body is dealing with depression by shutting the fuck down. Though I seriously ate a dumptruck full of food today so I guess I am good to go again which is nice. I really want to get back to work on the post modern porn thing. I am having a little trouble focusing my attacks. So I figgure I will just start writting then I will take out the good parts and rebuild around those while discarding the bad. I've just been really loopy and out of it these past couple of days. I've also temporarly gone back to working 40hours a week. I am mildly annoyed.
I also need to shave. This is because one of my sub bosses is starting a shit storm with another sub boss about appearence. I don't fucking know why. What I do know is that I don't want or need to be anywhere near it. I also just realized via twitter how absolutly absurd and petty the whole situation is. These people need to get lives. Everything is more important than Judy's lip ring I promise you.
Bah these are people you can't reason with. I'd get a new job but I realize that they are everywhere, unavoidable, and usually in charge. This is something I will never understand but holy crap when you stand up to them they just don't know what to do. It occurs to me that there is a severe lack of leadership in our society. I am not talking politics but in everyday normal life. Not a whole lot that can be done about that though. It does remind me I need headphones, if for no other reason than the porno jazz that they play at books a million is slightly annoying.
Well okay then its three and I am out of superficial things I want to talk about. Next month a new akira book comes out, a new vtes expansion, and all sorts of other stuff. What the fuck febuary.
Peaches
Oh well lets move on.
It is 2am! And I had many plans for how to spend this last little bit of wakefullness before heading to sleep and for some reason I am here writing. Strange no? You know from poking around other people's blogs I've come to realize that it is customary to put pictures up that are either pretty or somehow relate to your post. What is up with that? Where did it come from? And where the hell does everyone get their pictures from? I don't like looking at pictures on the internet it infects my brain and I can't stop doing it easily. It feels a bit like crack. I dunno it is just not very enjoyable to me. So my blog will go pictureless.
Though if I were to do it I would prolly just go to google and type in a random word and use the 42nd image. ACTUALLY that does sound like a neat thing to do. Maybe 42 days before Douglas Adam's birthday I could type a random word, use the 42nd image and write a blog about whatever the hell is up there. Though this project seems more suited to Burroughs we'll put those trivial sorts of facts aside. I know Burroughs would of, he's a junkie he does things like that. I'm really not a fan of the beats. Its strange because I really do love arbitrary ramblings. I really really do. Yet, at its core, there seems to be something very toxic about the beats. It isn't anything I could put my finger on, but it is something I always kind of felt long before I understood what exactly the beat movement was or who is a part of it. I came across Howl, Naked Lunch, and some other things at very diffrent times in my life and I always tied them together as similar but never as the same movement. I also was impressed with the way they all seem to have this dark undercurrent of destruction.
Undercurrents of destruction are commonplace in surrealism. It is no accident that Jan Svankmajer adapted Faust and Alice in Wonderland. Faust especially is a highly destructive story, and Alice is filmed with an eye on ruin and despair. But their dispair and the one suffered by the beats always seemed very diffrent to me. For the beats it seemed almost unconsious. Like they didn't realize that they were on a path to utter destruction and no one was really doing anything to stop it. Or something. I don't know. I actually haven't read/studied much of the beats. Their kink is not my own. A lot of people seem to get excited about them for the plain and simple reason that drugs were involved.
Drugs do have that really interesting mystique around them I'm not going to deny it. I mean it is coincidence that I own Spun, Trainspotting, Requiuem for a Dream, Naked Lunch, and Fear and Loathing. I love these movies. I also love mafia movies that show how the inclusion of drugs ruins mafia life. Goodfellas is the perfect example of this though there are others. Still it seems to me that to be fascinated by Naked Lunch because a whole lot of drugs were taken while it was being written is a little sad/odd to me. There is much more to the book than drugs, much like there is much more to each of the movies I mentioned other than drugs. Spun in particular. I love that movie because it really shows this sort of sad, terrible, crumpled group of people who wouldn't actually be that bad if they weren't so fried on meth.
Drugs work in the opposite of sex in a way. Add drugs to something and there will be a subsection of people who are immediately drawn to and fascinated by it. Add a lot of sex to something and people freak out and run. Try bringing up Lost Girls to people who know what it is. I can't tell you the number to times I've gotten immediately dismissive viewpoints solely based on the amount of sex the characters of the book have. They pay no attention to the historical detail, story telling, or the fascinating way he turns three victorian books upside down. Nor does anyone pay atension to the time period the books take place in, or anything else. Their immediate response is RAWR SEX R BAD. Woo my spelling is extra bad tonight! I wonder why?
It occurs to me that there are people who are immediately turned off by drug usage. evan for example. Man I hate starting sentences with his name. But I find him to be more the exception than the rule. It is also founded on something where I find that most people's obsession with drugs is just silly.
Then again I have a complete disinterest in doing them. That is one of those strange things. What is the difference between the people who can do them and walk away, do them and get addicted, and people who don't care about them at all. The people who can do them and just get addicted are the least interesting to me. Its a story we've all heard a thousand times before. However, what about the person who can just start and stop at will. Who will one night do a line of coke, and another night decline because it simply doesn't interest them. See that's interesting. Of course I am of the mind that nothing is so great that I would want to become a slave to it. Nor would I ever take some random drugs offered to me by strangers. Man you don't know what people do with that shit.
Oh well it is one of those fundamentally alien viewpoints. Like the time time I was talking to this swinger dude. I was saying how, "I don't understand what is with your compulsion for extra marital sex". He got offended that I called it a compulsion. Fortunatly, I was on my toes that day and I told him, "See what I mean about an alien mindset, I can't imagine wanting to have sex with most people I meet without it being a compulsion". We didn't get much further because he had to go and I never saw him again. Still it was interesting though. Truth be told I think I hit a little close to home with the compulsion thing.
No matter. I think part of a relationship is finding someone who will enable your desires while accepting your flaws, and vice versa of course. Yes of course there is more to relationships than that. That just happens to be a nice part of them. Its why I decided that I wasn't dating any non geek girls anymore. They just don't get it, and I mean after fighting all those years with my parents and then with other various girlfriends I had enough. They got do so something be it read comics, play video/bord games, roleplay, just something. Something where they have a hobby, a thing that they do and enjoy so that they understand that yes I want to spend this much money on little plastic figures rather than something practical. Or something like that. Man I don't even know what some of those fights were about. WHATEVER. No wannabie geeks either. There is nothing I hate more than when people will take a superficial interest in what I am doing just so that they can get closer to me. That is a quick way to piss me off. I once chewed out a cell phone salesman for that. That and he was being a dick to one of his employees. On the one hand I feel bad for cell phone sales people, on the other hand when I say no thankyou, then I hear a manager start badgering the poor girl because she didn't chase after me like an asshole, that's when the self rightous dickhead in me rears forth.
I hate shitty managers.
Moving on again. As expected this has been a rough week. Apparently my body is dealing with depression by shutting the fuck down. Though I seriously ate a dumptruck full of food today so I guess I am good to go again which is nice. I really want to get back to work on the post modern porn thing. I am having a little trouble focusing my attacks. So I figgure I will just start writting then I will take out the good parts and rebuild around those while discarding the bad. I've just been really loopy and out of it these past couple of days. I've also temporarly gone back to working 40hours a week. I am mildly annoyed.
I also need to shave. This is because one of my sub bosses is starting a shit storm with another sub boss about appearence. I don't fucking know why. What I do know is that I don't want or need to be anywhere near it. I also just realized via twitter how absolutly absurd and petty the whole situation is. These people need to get lives. Everything is more important than Judy's lip ring I promise you.
Bah these are people you can't reason with. I'd get a new job but I realize that they are everywhere, unavoidable, and usually in charge. This is something I will never understand but holy crap when you stand up to them they just don't know what to do. It occurs to me that there is a severe lack of leadership in our society. I am not talking politics but in everyday normal life. Not a whole lot that can be done about that though. It does remind me I need headphones, if for no other reason than the porno jazz that they play at books a million is slightly annoying.
Well okay then its three and I am out of superficial things I want to talk about. Next month a new akira book comes out, a new vtes expansion, and all sorts of other stuff. What the fuck febuary.
Peaches
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Dust and Kisses
This was originally a random topic blog that I started in books a million but I got hungry and ended up just going home and ditching it. Oh well. I like the title though so I am going to reuse it. It is also going to be one of those random topic things because I feel like it. It will be a good moment to collect some of my thoughts as I start rolling fowards.
One!- The post modern pornography project is still around. I got a large portion of the introduction written which I hate so I am going to go back and rewrite it. Fuck my backspace button is giving out that is really lame. Oh well it still works you just have to really want it. So expect the number of typos to skyrocket because my typing really isn't very accurate on this keyboard, not sure why. Oh well. Anyway the main reason why it is stalled at the moment is mostly due to how fucking cold it is. It is hard to type when you can't feel your fingers, and I can't concentrate hard enough while at work. I think I am going to make it a goal to work on it some tonight. I also plan to just start toughing through the cold and working on it anyway because I refuse to be held prisoner by the weather. So there. Okay so then plan set.
Two@- I've been doing a lot of reading recently, I don't know why I've just been in the mood. I went back and reread Highwater which is one of the most amazing Constantine books ever. It will get its own blog post shortly, I also got around to reading Incognito. Jesus it took long enough. I was so exicted about that book too. Oh well it was amazing. However! Since I am in this reading phase I am taking advantage of it and I finnaly restarted blood meridian. Woo I really love that book. The first time I stopped reading it cause of skool, the second time I just lost the damn thing. But I got it now and it is totally being read. I should read the Road next because Sasha said so, but I am in a Faulkner mood and she has a hard time bullying me when she is so far away. *misses sasha*. Anyway, I am in a Faulkner mood! So the next thing I am reading is Light in August cause it looks neat and it has a pretty cover. So that's gonna happen soon. I'm excited.
Okay looks like I am only getting to two, damnit. To be fair I got distracted by things. Things like Angel and Christeen. Oh well maybe I'll finish this later tonight.
One!- The post modern pornography project is still around. I got a large portion of the introduction written which I hate so I am going to go back and rewrite it. Fuck my backspace button is giving out that is really lame. Oh well it still works you just have to really want it. So expect the number of typos to skyrocket because my typing really isn't very accurate on this keyboard, not sure why. Oh well. Anyway the main reason why it is stalled at the moment is mostly due to how fucking cold it is. It is hard to type when you can't feel your fingers, and I can't concentrate hard enough while at work. I think I am going to make it a goal to work on it some tonight. I also plan to just start toughing through the cold and working on it anyway because I refuse to be held prisoner by the weather. So there. Okay so then plan set.
Two@- I've been doing a lot of reading recently, I don't know why I've just been in the mood. I went back and reread Highwater which is one of the most amazing Constantine books ever. It will get its own blog post shortly, I also got around to reading Incognito. Jesus it took long enough. I was so exicted about that book too. Oh well it was amazing. However! Since I am in this reading phase I am taking advantage of it and I finnaly restarted blood meridian. Woo I really love that book. The first time I stopped reading it cause of skool, the second time I just lost the damn thing. But I got it now and it is totally being read. I should read the Road next because Sasha said so, but I am in a Faulkner mood and she has a hard time bullying me when she is so far away. *misses sasha*. Anyway, I am in a Faulkner mood! So the next thing I am reading is Light in August cause it looks neat and it has a pretty cover. So that's gonna happen soon. I'm excited.
Okay looks like I am only getting to two, damnit. To be fair I got distracted by things. Things like Angel and Christeen. Oh well maybe I'll finish this later tonight.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
