Thursday, January 22, 2009

Sick :-(

When we go we will leave behind no written records of our passing, no etches in the stone, no words to be passed down year after year until generations hence will have twisted them into some sort of hidiouse monstrocity through which they can commit murders in our name. No manifestos will follow in our wake, no art to stand forever on display static as things were not meant to be, as little men with smaller minds do their best to scilently preserve the emptyness of before for all eternity to see. No pictures though. It scorns the light.

Instead we will leave scribbles on the sidewalk, pastel assualts against the unending blackness of an uncaring road that leads to no where except where ever you are going. Light laughture, and sometimes love will be born from our couplings singing gaily into the wind which blows scattering the sounds we make. Dust and ashes.

Nothing left behind. Except the feeling that there will be something great, always around the next bend.

Sorry I am sick, and I am more than a little sad and that was up lifting to me.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Plan one Failed

Bars are simply not the right atmosphere. I suppose if I found the right bar it would work, but that would mean sampling a wide variety of bars trying to find somewhere that doesn't fail miserably at life. I just need somewhere comfortable to sit, and a table, and to be left alone. I can't even do that outside as cops feel the need to harass me instead of...oh I don't know patroling a ghetto or something. Fucking assholes, "What's in your briefcase?" Fucking assholes.

I did buy a printer though and so far it has been a BIG help yay!

I thought the other side would work because it is quiet two nights a weeks and that should be enough. However, it is DEAD. Two nights a week and sitting in an empty bar isn't any better than sitting at home. *sigh* this sucks. I have such a hard time writting here at home for a variety of reasons, but it is looking like I am just going to have to start breaking through all of that and doing it anyway. The problem is that I stagnate inside my own head, I need other people to prevent that from happening.

Man heaven forbid that you have alternative lifestyle needs. Oh well. I am just frusterated. But I seem to be writting alright now don't I? I am. So I guess I should stop complaining and take advantage of this situation.

Moral Quandary

It isn't often that I have moral quandaries. Gernerally my morals are pretty easy to live by, and live up to. Gay marriage, activate, right to choose ho!, don't fuck with people, easy! They go on and on. It isn't so much that I am taking the path of least resistence, but the fact is that I am white, male, and poor. It is really easy to uphold ideas of gay marriage because they don't affect me directly. In fact the real moral test would be in opposing it and trying to convince my gay friends that they are sick and need help. But no I just accept them for who they are and wander off. Easy!

I should be more active. I should write to my congressmen and senators. Specificly my senators because I think congress is a waste of time. I should write directly to president aides instead of the president himself, that seems like it makes more sense in the long run. I should be better educated on civics, and whatnot but these are all things I will either do or won't.

None the less I have a moral quandery. The real problem behind this quandary is that at the end of the day it is ultimatly useless. While I can delude myself into thinking I am changing something I am not and it really is soley and issue of abstract morals.

It is the comics books. Or rather more specifically the purchase of said comic books.

Two issues. Thrift. Supporting Local Buisnesses.

Heaven or hell duel one lets rock!

Thrift first. Lefts face it ladies and gentalmen at the moment I am poor! I survive on 12,000 dollars a year meaning I make around 1000 a month. Of course I don't really want for anything. I have a snazzy computer, food, a tv, and a comic book buying habit, and even a lil money in the bank. Things are alright. Now my views on thrift are diffrent. I don't save money for the sake of saving money. I just don't have that urge within me. In fact I loath to spend the time required to do that. So lets just move on past that little idea. Throw your traditional idea of thrift out and come with me.

I woke 40 hours a week. That sucks. Of course when you factor in getting ready for work, driving to work, driving home from work, and getting de-worked, it works out to being much longer than that. It still sucks. But it is nessiary. I sleep 7 hours a night on average. I'd get that down a little lower but I have a variety of sleep disorders which makes that hard, and migrians for when I fuck it up so I'd rather avoid thouse. Oddly enough I sleep better with someone, isn't that ironically funny? Lets move on though. The point is that I don't have a whole lot of time to myself. Not enough to get everything I want done, especially after we factor in everything I need to get done.

Money. Money is the condensed representation of my time spent at work. It is the time I would of spent doing other things distilled down into something less than it was origianlly worth and handed to me. To be honest there are times where I've wanted to say, "keep your 40 bucks I am going home" but that isn't how jobs work. They keep you there even when there is nothing for you to do, and they expect you to produce something even if it is nothing. It isn't just the job I have either, lots of jobs just sort of have useless busy work to keep its employees moving in case they are actually needed for something. Money. My material compensation isn't nearly enough but it is all I have. So when I spend it I make DAMN sure I get the most out of it as humanaly possible. Each month I make certain that I download at least 100 dollars worth of stuff to counter balanace the fact that I have to pay for internet acess in the first place. I did that in 16 hours when I downloaded rome seasons 1&2.

When I play video games I try to squeeze a dollar an hour out of them when I play them. So I just spend less on action games and more on RPGs and it generally works out for me.

I use my money in such a way so that I get as much as possible out of as little as possible. The use I have squeezed out of this computer has made it pay for itself several dozen times over.

On this score I am brutally effective at just about everything I do except...comic books.

Support you local businesses:

I beleive in supporting my locak buisnesses. I really do. It is nice, when you hand over your money, to be handing over to a person, usually the person you are seeing right there in front of you. After awhile they know your face, ask how you are doing, and make orders suited to you. Comic book stores are especailly dependent on this modle. 90% of its user base comes from repeat customers, and so it behooves them to cater to these people. To that end comic book stores are more than just stores. They are community centers. They provide places for people to play the games they just boughts, and encourage people to go forth and hang out at the store, using their recently purchased toys on their tables free of charge for the most part. Even a shoestring operation will have tables for people to play. Its just expected. Every time I buy a comic book from the interwebs I am not buying a coimic book from them and that sucks.

Now the problem:

I have recently, for other reasons, joined Books-a-million book club. I'm mathematically challanged and I didn't really thing 10% off would amount to all that much. And it isn't really, it comes to be the same price I'd get when would order it from amazon. Then I realized I can use $10 off coupons which they send me weekly in the mail. Combined with free shipping and we have a winner. I bought 5 comic books, for over $20 less than TBS. Ouch. just ouch.

So who wins? Not TBS that is for damn sure.

See here is the thing. Support your local buisnesses that is a movement I can get behind. Something I can help out with, and feel good about myself while doing it. The problem is that... well my local buisnesses don't support me. We aren't talking just the extra money. Hell I would pay extra to shop at TBS but I can't use that store's services. Why? Well they close at 8. I get out of work at 8:30. So what am I supposed to do? They stay open late on friday, but friday is magic night and trying to get magic unrealted things done on friday is stupid. Trust me I tried. I can't sneak in before work because they open at 12 when I am supposed to be there. Oh and I can't participate in fridaynight magic night because, yeah it starts before I get off work.

I'm not the only person in my situation. There are lots of us. To give the comics thing a rest for awhile. Recently, as in september my glasses suffered an acident at work, I don't know what got on them but it was bad. Anyway I needed new ones. So I figgured I'd go to a local opticians. I found an independently owned glasses place, got a couple of names tried to schedual visits. Didn't work out.

My days off being tuesday and wensday, you think this shit would be easy. BUT NO the earlyest either doctor could see me would be two weeks from then. And I couldn't wait that long. I need my damn glasses. So I walked into Eyeglass world and got seen within an hour. This story is repeated over and over again by me with diffrent small buisnsesses as I end up walking out of their doors and into the all embracing arms of the corporate owned goliath. I don't want to, but damnit I needed my fucking eyes examined. NOW. One was on vacation, and the other was just busy. So they loose.

This is the end of the day. Small buisness owners need to wake their asses up and realize that the 9 to 5 work day has been extinct for a long time, along with housewives and whatever the fuck else. I'm not willing to bend over backwards to spend money and why should I be. Half the damn city shuts down at 5, the rest at 8 and yet all sorts of corporatly owned stores are still doing a brisk buisness, and the small buisness owner is at home bemoning the corporate devil over dinner while I am at the corporate devil's store buying my own dinner. The entire small buisnsses model is supposed to be about convience when they make themselves anything but. Then they wonder why their stores are failing.

So yeah. Its what you get.

I could order online from smaller stores but even that in of itself is dicey. I don't trust the interwebs that much. So I am stuck between a rock and a warm soft convient place that makes my life easyer. Why choose the rock? Oh yeah because it is owned by someone I like. Sorry though kids I don't like you that much. Especially when I work a job where I get back far less than what I put least before I make my own adjustments :-)

Friday, January 2, 2009

What's shakin

So this hasn't been updated in awhile has it? Nope. Well that is because I've started GMing exalted. Well okay I've only run one session so far but I am really excited about it and the second session is coming up sunday and there on into many months from now.

The downside being, my lunch time is now taken up by exalted. All exalted all the time. Lunch time is where 99% of all blog entires are birthed from. So this presents a multitude of problems for me. So I've decided to attack this problem utilizing a two pronged approch.

One is to buy a printer. I now have the super power to type anywhere. Time to put that to work. If I buy a printer I'll be able to type my rpg notes and print them, I type MUCH faster than I write.

Two is to set aside a writting night. I'd do it tonight but it is new year's day and the place I have chosen might be a lil crazy.

Hopefully between the two of them it will work out.

I was going to write a lot more but I suddenly got tired. It is 3:15 and I am a notoriouse insomniac so I'll take being tired when I can get it.

Be back in a bit.