Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I am really hungry

So I reserve the right to cut this short at any moment I feel like and rush off to my home where I will eat a to-go box full of chicken, pasta, and love. I did that last night. Then I tried to type up a blog entry at home. For some reason I typed it up in note pad and the whole thing god lost because I am a moron. So first order of business? Reconstruction!

It is prolly for the best though, last night, for whatever reason I was fucking exhausted so my though process just sort of collapsed in on itself and refused to go fowards. As it turns out I have underestimated the metaphysical complextities that pornography has to offer. Yeah who would of thunk? See on a superficial level it is easy to work with. However, as soon as you start getting more in depth with it all superficiality falls apart into a pile of dust and ashes. Or like a lead rake, as has become one of my new favorite phrases.

So tearing it down and working my way back up again. I want, for the first essay, to look at how pornography and reality jive within the metaphysical constraints of Baudrillard. The short answer is that it isn't very nicely. The thing is though that the long answer is long, not just long but it is this cascading fail spiral that shoots outwards into the sky like some glorious fail beacon. I think I got it though so lets see if I can get it done this time without melting down.

Generic Hardcore straight porn is a spectacular example of the real's ability to slip into the hyperreal. See in ordinary media there is a barrier between the real and the hyperreal. Yes there is. I am putting it there deal with it. Okay I guess it isn't much of a barrier but something is there. When a media crosses from they hyper real to the real it is the viewer that acts as a conduit. A piece of media isn't inherently hyperreal. Nor is viewing the media an inherently hyperreal act. However, viewing the media, taking away inpressions and then forcefully imposing those impressions over the real regardless of what the real is? Now that is how we get people living in a hyper real state. See everything that happens on TV is staged, especially most reality tv shows. So looking to a sitcom for advice as to how to ask a girl out is a bad idea. Better yet go read Being There. It sums up this point with righteous perfection.

Soft core porn also falls into the above example because the elements within softcore porn nessistate that the actual sex act is faked. The thing about hard core porn is that the actual sex act is real. You know that shot. THe extreme closeup shot of the penis going into the vagina over and over again, relentlessly until you are so bored and turned off that you idlely wonder if star trek is on? Yeah that shot doesn't really excist for any direct erotic value. They do excist however to show you the viewer that the sex you are seeing is real. This is actual sex. The image on the screen isn't what is important. Its actually kinda gross. No what is important is the real sex that is happening. Along similar lines, the money shot excists to demonstrate to people that here is a man! And his orgasam happened. Ironically, with the exception of female ejaculation, the precariouse reality of the female orgasam is ignored. Sometimes they are visable, most times they simply pass by without any real concern. Since there is no visible way to prove she had an orgasam or is faking it we just let her make those awful moaning sounds and go with it. The money shot though? You see that, it happens. It is actually called the money shot because that is what people are paying to see. It is the irrefutable proof that what was just seen was sex, the man has just recieved maximal pleasure, and now some jizz covered girl would like a towel and that camera out of her face.

The thing is that while the sex is real, the actual portrayal of the sex act is so wildly staged that there is no way to call it anything other than hyperreality. More so than reality television which shares more aspects of sitcoms and game shows than anything actually real. Pornography takes a real act and turns it into this bizzarely staged hyperreal construct. When porn tries to shakily add a story, it gets even worse. Worse to the point where you are left wondering what the hell did they even bother for.

Oh then there is the "sex video" porn where couples send in thier sex videos to this site and this helps supposedly to short circuit the sterilized hyperreal approche that mainstream porn takes. Because, the people involved in the movie are actually undergoing the physilocial effects of sexual intercourse, and the point of the hardcore porn is to demonstrate this as much as possible it removes the barrier that most media has between the viewer and the real. Everything that happens in porn is possible. Why? Cause it just happened.

Now the results of that? I dunno. That is where I am stuck. HUNGRY. Okay so I am going to lay out some things and then I am going to fucking eat because I really really want to. Well lets start with something easy and go south. I don't beleive that pornography is the cause of rape, rape culture, sexual repression, deviance, or anything like that. Hell I don't even believe in deviance. Wow I just realized that. I make up deviant... later. Okay so lets move onto pornography addiction, unhealthy sex as a result of porn, and hilarious emergency room stories. Now that is a grayer area which I think gets at the heart of the situation a little bit better. I can fame pornographic addiction within the terms of hyperreality in a couple of diffrent ways depending on the severity and type of addiction. This is good. The only way to be unaffected by pornography though is to either be specificly examining it on a metaphysical level and that' iffy. Or to understand the entirerty of what I am saying and to know that while everything depiced in the porn is possible, pulling my dick out of her mouth mid blowjob and jizzing in her face is more likely to get me punched rather than to just have her sit there smiling like she is a series of wet holes that excists for my pleasure.

Ugh this is just the start, The series of wet holes thing is something I am adressing in another essay and it will compare and contrast the way fetish porn and normal porn approch their subject. Essentially they approch their subject in exactly the same way, however the resluts are diffrent due to the fact that fetish porn is just plain diffrent.


Okay the hunger pains are subsiding so lets do a little thing with the actual essay proper. I want to finnish reading Simulacra and Simulation. Or at least I want the things I think are going to be relevent read. Then I think we are going to be talking about non fetish hard core porn. I want to focus on two Jenna Jameson videos. One lesbian, one generic porn. I want to focus not on the actual sex act itself, but all the random, bizzare leadup to the actual sex act. So what the hell was all the above about? Yeah that will be in there too, however, the lead up makes the actual sex act seem less real when it is infact anything but. People will end up in these exceedingly bizzare situations which end in sex understanding what is actually going on with the sex in reffrence to hyperreality is nessisary when trying to figgure out what the hell is going on with all that crap that is happening before the actual sex. Cause that whole leadup stuff? Veeeeeerrrrry interesting.

Friday, December 25, 2009

PPP: Genra

You know the funny thing is that if nothing else comes out of the PPP breaking the monolithic porno superstructure into manageable parts is kind of an amazing step fowards. I am almost sad that I am going to be the one to do it because it really does make sense. When you say pornography is harmful, you are including that picture of some naked chick sitting in a chair making a kissy face. When you say pornography isn't harmful you are including child porn, crushing, and rape videos. So yeah breaking this up a little bit is going to be a good idea. It is also pretty much the place to start so 'ere we go!

Starting broad and working our way down:

Soft Core- Naked chick making the kissy face, skinamax, and all those other things are softcore porn. A good way to measure it, is to ask, is the sex act being depicted real? Hint if there is no sex act and you are just looking at some naked dude then you are kicking it softcore. No actual penatration, pretty much means soft core territory. Oral sex, and other things like that? It doesn't matter what I say because people will argue either way. I'm going to say that actual cock in mouth, to ejaculation is wandering into hardcore territory. Where as hands on upper body private parts, kissing, that sort of thing keeps it closer to soft core territory.

Hard Core- Hard core is the sex act being depicted is actually real. So there is actual penetration, or multiple penetrations, there is lots of real baby batter being slung around. All that fits into hard core. Hard core is massive.

Note that neither of these definitions rely on numbers or genders. So if you have 57 Transexuals all standing around naked...soft core. Where as two women using a double sided dildo is hardcore. There is also no allusion to quality. Hardcore and soft core can all be equally trashy, or refined.

Fetish- Fetish pornography is something that adds an additional element into the mix that sexualizes something that is non sexual. Spanking, insertion, bondage, fully clothed sex, water sports, the use of religiouse iconography, clowns, these all fit into the fetish category. Note that fetish doesn't stand totally on its own. So it is possible to have softcore fetish porn & Hardcore fetish porn. It is important to seperate fetish porn out because it definatly plays by a diffrent series of rules. Note there is a diffrence between Fetish porn and things that just make us squimish. So fisting for example, makes me squimish, however, it is not a fetish thing, it is a hand going into a vagina. Whereas a foot, 4 Zucchin, 1 Squid, a stump left by an amputated limb, or a barbie doll would all be consindered fetish porn because it is taking something non sexual and turning it into something sexual.

Art- This one is going to be controversial. However, there is porn out there, that is still very much porn, but it tries to do something else other than just be straight up porn. This is a result of either production values, them doing something exparamental, or just trying to make a statement with the porn itself. This category will make more sense when I do the art/porn venn diagram in a lil bit. This is prolly also a very small genra at the moment. Lots of softcore porn fits into the this area. People who like to tastefully photograph nudes? Art porn look at that. Whereas the destricted project, is an example of hardcore art porn. This is also here to purposly confuddle the art/porn divide. Cause why not?

Finally there is:

Bad Porn- Bad porn is porn that just about everyone can agree is bad. Bad bad bad. This includes things like childporn, rape porn, crushing, and snuff. Yeah yeah the fbi claims that they have never found a real snuff film. Right, cause they did such a bang up job uncovering the 9/11 plot, as well as the amazing work they do curbing the drug trade. Really? The fbi hasn't found something? Holy shit you don't say.

Rant on the fbi's failures aside this pretty much covers everything. It feels weird breaking things into genras it isn't something I am good at, nor is it something I paticularly agree with. See people get way to fixated on genras and they start coming up with all these strange micro genras that really aren't nessisary. I mean look at meatal, you have black metal, speed metal, doom metal, drone metal, goth metal, as well as a whole bunch of others when in reality each of these genras only covers a small handful of bands. I've kept each genra loosely definied and it is OKAY to have something fit into more than one genra. Some people like the ultra specificity of micro genras. I would talk about these people dismissivly but sasha is one of them and she can beat me up. It is one of those things we disagree on but don't argue about because really? At the end of the day I have people for that sort of thing. New genras will be developed and that's all well and good. Getting the ball rolling is the most important part.

It also helps make the whole subject become so much less monolithic. I mean jesus christ, do people know how silly they sound when they say pornography is/does/says X? Hell the first part of the project was going to be on the pornography pattern, but I've changed it up to be the pornography checklist because people keep doing it in diffrent order. Good. Well looks like this is just about wrapped up. Barns and Noble totally lost my order so I am not able to go do things like read Simulacrum and Simulation. Though I realize that at some point I am going to have to address Foucault. I. Don't. Fucking. Want. To. I'm going to do it anyway. It is such a miserable chore though and he doesn't really adress anything I am writting about. He uses endless historical examples that go on FOREVER to make relativly minor points. Also the whole knowlage/power thing? I dunno it doesn't really seem to fit in. Not when I am doing real people like Bauldillard and Lacan. Since I am returning the discussion of porn back to its actual basics, by looking at actual porn then writting about that the way I would a novel, Foucault doesn't seem all to paticularly applicable.

Oh well. I might be able to do something with the panopticon and voyerism or something like that. That has some promise, but it isn't really postmodern, it is panotpicomics which is something I consider to be diffrent. If I do anything with Foucault it will be power relations in BDSM. Though ultimatly I would rather do somehting about how the bdsm porn enforces power relations, whereas most bdsm relationships have a symbiotic relationship to them. My source texts would be some generic bdsm pornos, Venus in Furs, and Secretary. I'd flip that mother fucker on his ear I would. See though, it doesn't really fit into my project though so I guess not. Eh whatever fuck Foucault, sure he makes some valid points but only in very limited situations.

Whatever that chick that tackled the pope, she should of grabbed Foucault while she had the chance.

See Bauldillard is directly useful. He talks about the dangers of putting our ideas of what the real is before the real itself. He also talks about how things are so fake that they make the rest of the world seem super real. These two ideas, right there? Yeah 15 page essays easy. See take the idea of putting ideas of the real before the real. Women have cosmo, men have porn. You put the two of them together and it is no wonder why people's ideas of what actually happens during sex is so fucked up.

Oh well back to work I'll get back to this some more later.

DF Fortress Layout Final

Noble Bed rooms! I love noble bed rooms you get to fill them with all sorts crap. There is nothing really to say about this so much. Noble bed rooms work best when they are big and you just shove tons of crap in them.

This is how I layed out the bed rooms. Nothing really much to see. One importnat thing to note is that the center stairs are the ones that go through the rest of the fortress. Sound is a big problem, and is the cause of many negative thoughts for sleeping, and everyone sleeps. Even with one Z level between the workshops and the bedrooms it is still a problem. Annoyance! Oh The 2 leads down to the mining layers. This way I don't have all sorts of crazy amounts of traffic going through the bed rooms.

Man this is going to take some explaining. Okay first the width of the hallways. This is important because while dwarves can move through each other it screws with pathfinding and inevitably makes the game go slower. So it is much easyer to just have the dwarves go around each other. Hallways 4 wide greatly increases traffic flow through congested areas.

1)The butcher bin. Doors can be set so that pets can't get through them. So I build some cages, stick the animals inside the cages, then when I am ready I let the animals out of the cages. I let them run around, breed a bit maybe, or I just set them up for the slaughter. Either way the workshop directly below is the butchers workshop so it will be nice and convient for him. Also I really want to get a soap manufacturing cycle started so this will be a basic lynchpin of that operation. Fat comes from animals after all. The area below that is all dug out has obsidian in it. Obsidian is the only stone which can be made into weaponry, weaponry that is as powerful as steel, which is the second most powerful material in the game. NICE! I use them to outfit weapontraps.

2) The dining room. This is both near the kitchens, the brewery, and the food stockpile is right above it. This creates a nice smooth traffic flow through the eating process. It is also essential to have a really nice dining room. Seriously, it isn't hard, get that thing up to lengendary as fast as possible. Eating in the legendary dining room will give dwarves happy thoughts, and since every dwarf eats it is a quality way to ensure that every dwarf recieves happy thoughts on a regular basis. There are things called tantrum spirals where one dwarf flipping out causes other dwarves to flip out. It is much easyer to get negative thoughts than positive ones so get them when and where you can.

3) These are the stairs that connect direct to the trade depot. I dunno I like having a nice engraved entrance for my fortress. This area also has THE ANIMAL CAGE! The animal cage is important for three reasons. One it is a fantastic place to generate happy thoughts from. See pets are kinda good because they will generate happy thoughts within their owners. Animals in cages will generate happy thoughts in anyone who stops by the cage. You'll start seeing the thought, "Comforted by a wonderful animal in a cage" fairly often and you will love it. Two, it helps ease up on the whole path finding problem which does indeed kill your processor. Lastly the centeralized location means the animal can be scooped up and stuck in the cage before it adopts a dwarf and then becomes ineligable for cage dudy. That sucks. In other news displaying wealth is great, dwarves will stop and appreciate armor racks, states, doors, beds, and all sorts of other things. So having nice things in one area that everyone passes though is a good way to ensure good thought generation.

4) The Magma forges. When planning out magma forges I always try to make sure that I have more room than I need rather than less. This is mostly because expanding magma forges is an epic fucking pain in the ass and I hate doing it. The wiki does a good job explaining how to do this, and I really like this set up here. The centeral area is a large bar stockpile, the area to the right are the magma forges and the actual metal stockpile is located just above. Of everything this is prolly the most streamlined production chain in the entire fortress. It also has the added benefit of the haulers having wide open access to the actual workshops which is nice. It reduces the number of traffic jams.

5) Over here is the glass making section. This is the least streamlined part of the fortress, currently. This is due to a couple of things, one, the sand gathering point is way the fuck over on the other side of the fortress, and two just the nature of glass making. Oh well, I stuck it out over on the side, because it really is only going to be important for the aborrarareum and nothing else. It does its job moderatly well.

6)&7) I am not sure why I made two numbers for this. I doesn't need it. Huh. Anyway here are my main manufacturing wing. Ordinarly, there would be a couple of more crafts dwarf workshops here for me to make stone products out of but because of the retarded amount of iron on the map it isn't particularly necessary. Here are the mason, leather works, cloth works, mechanics, gem cutter, and everything else. The leather, gem, and cloth stock piles are all directly above the workshops, and there are stairs in the center leading up. The center is a large stone stockpile and over to the left there are stairs leading down. The reason for this is Dwarf pathfinding is more than a little retarded. When craft dwarf is looking to use a chunk of stone for werking on it will grab the nearest one. Good right? Well it when making this descision it will also take into account things like Z levels. So something 4 Z levels down would be counted as much closer than a stockpile that is 5 steps away. Of course exploritory mining isn't desighened to be easily walked through so a stone crafter will end up walking hundreds of steps out of the way for one piece of stone. That sucks. It is also what haulers are for. So I designated a nice large stone stockpile. It is quickly filled up by the inintal fortress and then the rest of it gets easily replaced as it is used by my army of haulers. So far it has worked wonderfully.

DF Layout Stockpiles 1 and 2

In a stroke of luck I got two layers of soil which is ideal for using in stockpiles. Stone walls leave behind, well stone, and that needs to be cleared in order for a stockpile to be set down. So the soil layers provide me with an ideal place for me to put down storage.

1) Here is the finnished good stockpile. This thing gets huge later on. Those X's are up/down stair cases. Above is trade depot and below is another layer of stockpiles, followed by a centeral meeting area. If you look above the 2, you will see some downward leading stairs. These lead directly to workshops which manufacture goods. This way the dwarves won't have very many steps to travel from workshop to finnished good stockpile. Depending on the stockpile it is somewhere between 25-40 steps which isn't bad at all.

2)This is a farm plot. The other benifit of soil layers are farm plots. A 5X5 farm plot, assuming you embarked with a competent grower, will produce enough plump helmets to keep all your dwarves drunk and fed. The amount of food grown is based on the actual skill of the farmer, so one square can produce something like 25 plump helmets which can be eaten and brewed into alcohol.

3) Funrinture stockpile! These things get massive. There are so many things that count as furniture and they tend to get produced enmasses. Ultimatly it is smart to break these things into a billion diffrent smaller stock piles. However, I don't feel like it. So they all just go in one place and if I feel like it later I'll seperate them, however, I don't see it as being to much of an issue.

4) Here is where the dwarves gather sand for my glass making empire. Making glass kinda sucks. You need bags, these bags get filled with sand, and then they use the filled bags to make glass. The problem is that my glassmakers inevitably work faster than the sand gatherers. More on this latter.

Not to much to explain here.

1) Food on top and drinks on the bottom
2)Metal stockpile, all that stuff will turn into iron which is pretty exiting! YAY!
3)Glass also consumes the bags in question so I need to be constantly making bags. The top one is for empty bags the bottom one is for full bags.
4)On top of the 4 is an animal stockpile which is the only way to store cages, to the right is variouse stockpiles wood, gems, ammo, weapons, leather, cloth things like that.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Dwarf Fortress Fortress Layout thesurface1

This is mostly for James' benefit but who knows this might attract the atension of some other dwarf fortress players out there. The general purpose of this is to give a demonstration of fortress layout as well as some other general tips for fortress building. Okay so here we go.

Ahh the surface. So the map I embarked to is compleatly flat. I didn't really mean for that to happen it's just how it worked out. I wanted a magma pipe and to much elevation variation kills your processor, but none at all? Oh well we make our own fun! I decided that keeping a trade depot on the surface and constructing a castle around it would be the best rout. So above is the start of it.

1) An archery range is planned to go here. The most dangerouse piece of opposition in a siege are the archers. Hence the point of the hallway of certain doom. I once had much more ambicious plans, which included elevators and ballistas. However, ballista ammo is annoying to make and I just know that there will be many accidental deaths. So the second best thing is I am going to put the archery range down on point1. This way any archers who are practicing can form a nice little ambush.

2) The corner. As stated earlier enemy archers are the most deadly piece of opposition you are going to face in an ambush/siege. Thus I came up with the ultimate defense! The corner! The green carrots are cage traps, which will take out the first wave of invaders. The white carrots are stone fall traps and are very helpful for defense. The idea is to plant the archers on the archery range and my melee dwarves right on the otherside of the corner. This way when the goblins/elves round the corrner my melee dwarves will be able to attack without suffering from massed archer fire. BRILLIANT!

3) This is a mistake. See I though locking the doors would keep invaders out. As I found out during my second siege some time later. They do not. I have a solution in the works but that will show up more in the evolution of the actual castle.

4) This is one of the military barracks where the military dwarves train and chill. It's important to keep these places close to the impending action, and you don't get much closer than this.

5) The Aborroarium! Okay so I got a little ambitious when channeling this thing out. To explain. If you build something with a glass roof it is still considered outside for crop purposes. So I've dug out a channel which is like a tunnel except there is no roof. Now if I build a glass roof I can grow out door crops safely from ambushes and the other varying dangers of the outside world. I also plan on making it an upscale gathering point for dwarves, as well as some other things. I dunno. I just think it is neat to have an undergound outside world.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Post Modernism Pornography Project opening shots

This is where it is all going to begin. Right here. I still have a lot of reading to do, luckily I actually ordered a copy of Simulacrum and Simulation along with Ecrits, so they should be coming in the mail any day now. I hope to be elbow deep in them soon. 1000 Plateaus, while it is something I love dearly, is not something I can use as a foundational step in my writting. So it has gone back to the shelf temporarly because it was really forcing me to get off track. Rizomatics will work best for extreame fetish pornography not, your baseline Jenna Jameson stuff which is where I am starting from.

Still getting some foundational thought work done will go a long way twords making thins whole thing go smoothly.

And so, what is pornography?

Oh fuck. Project over.

Just kidding. Seriously though pornography is something that needs a definition to it. And it needs to be better than "You'll know it when you see it" though I do bless the supreme court for that decision. No worries though I am not 12 people 7 of whom must agree with me, I am an army of one. I am army strong as well.

The inhenent problem with coming up with a deifination of pornography is the art porn divide. See art and porn share a one way binary relationship. Something is either art or it is porn. Porn can never be considered art, and art can never be considered porn. Even attempts to confuddle the barrier like the Destrictided project which is a series of short art films which all feature real sex acts, is hailed as an art film and doesn't make the pornographic rounds the same way as...well porn does. Once we understand this binary opposition it becomes very easy to break down. Why is there such a clear opposition? Simple! Pornography has sevearly negative conotations to it, whereas art has a protected status in our, ie american, mindset.

So when coming up with a definition of pornography they only real descision is what bullet do we choose to bite?

I've come up with 2 analogies to help make this work, the horror movie analogy and the action movie analogy. We are going to start off with the horror movie one because it is the bad one.

Saw. Getting a good solid definition of porn can be easily done through Saw. When most people are dismissing the saw movies, they will dismiss them as torture porn. That is to saw that the plot is nothing more than a thin veneer for getting people trapped in ludicris situations and watching them try to escape as they inflict horrible amounts of pain on themselves and others. Hostel is another great example, as is House of 1000 Corpses. These movies excist in only the flimsyest sense of the word. They have the bearest trappings of plot and setting just so that the gore effects have a vehicle for which you can ride in. There is actually a genra of extreme German gore film which is nothing but an endless repitition of gore effects. They are really boring to watch. Never the less we continue onwards.

This definition fits porn extreamly well, however, it has sevearly negative conotations to it. Also despite several attempts by many directors horror movies have yet to really breach that art/entertainment gap. They still fit neatly into a sort of dull turgid genra of exploitation, even with offerings such as Inside, Eyes Without a Face, and The Devils Rejects, the genra itself is poorly regarded. Which is all porn will ever be. Poorly regarded, and that's not the point of this project. I want porn to be more than its set peices. It isn't most of the time but I see nothing wrong in demanding higher quality porn. I'll go into it more later but I am running out of time so lets get to its flip side.

The flip side is the action movie. Action movies are a diverse genera. It has its share of trash. Okay let's face it most of the genra is trash. However, it does have some highly entertaining entries, 5th Element, Con Air, The Rock, and Die Hard 3: Die Hard with a Vengence. Man that movie has a long title. Oh I forgot Leathal Weap... never mind. Then there are some entrants into the genra that are actually quite clever, Fight Club is an amazingly intelegent movie that breaks the third wall, has a non linear narrative, all without the movie goers really noticing. You'll even have people arguing that Fight Club is more of a Drama than an action movie because they don't want that action movie association. It is though deal. There is also Crank, Crank is one of the most visually clever movies in years, it gives all sorts of nods to the audience regarding the fact that the main charecter is kinda dumb but that's okay cause we like him anyway. Crank also beats up on the third wall showing off the fact that it is a movie and we can all relax.

This is where pornography needs to be. Instead of dismissing it as we do the horror genra, sorry horror genra, we can maintain a more healthy relationship to it. I am not shooting for the stars here, but to put it on the same ideological level as the action movie. They have the potential for greatness, they have the potential to be meaningless acts of entertainment, and the genra is mostly crap.

Right now, we see pornography as something that is directly wrong. We have laws about viewing it, and I can't get a couple of paintings I needed to illustrate some other points I was going to make because my work has banned sites with nudity, including...art nudity. So when I get back to this again on... Wendsday? Maybe? I'll start breaking down the art/porn barrier I'll also make those analogies make more sense as I go along. You'll get it. The idea is to make porn not so strange and alien.

Oh I also want to break porn down into gereas because right now when I say porn I am emcompassing everything from softcore to crushing and that's just a little to broad. Yar I want my books damnit I am excited!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

God is an asshole

Through methods unknown I came across this web site. I showed it to my friends, we all had a good laugh about it. Much joy was had. Then everyone promptly forgot about it except for me. It stuck with me. Most people immediately identified with the atheists, crooning how they managed to rip off the moron christians. This is a tempting side to take and the one I had myself inintialy. Then I thought about it for awhile, and I realized that there is this deep down, fundamental belief amongst some christians that god is an asshole. I use that term advisedly to. He isn't all fire and brimstone with raw vengence flowing out of his three headed cock. No not like that. But you definatly get the idea that his great mysterious plan wouldn't quite be so mysterious if you just beleived in the fact that god is indeed an asshole. I mean look our pets don't go to heaven with us. Our unconverted loved ones go straight to hell, and all of this is because Adam and Eve ate an apple. No see look god is a dick.

I don't mean for this to come off as an anti christian rant. But it seems to me that the whole religion goes wildly in one direction or the other. It will either be all buddy christ Jesus be yo homeboy, to god will smite your ass for even uttering anything other than a fervant prayer. There is never really any middle ground. There is almost a thing where god really isn't all that fair, he isn't loving, and the pantheon of god, jesus and the holy ghost is weird. I don't really have to much more to say about this and I want a new desktop.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

VTES-The Next Generation

So the other night I got to play a game of VTES. It went really well and I had a lot of fun. Though not everyone was particularly into it. I'll have a talk with that person later though. All in all it was great fun.

I was using a Followers of Set deck. It has some stealth/bleed, prescense block avoidance stuff. I really liked the deck, and all in all I felt that it preformed excellently. I am thinking of taking Tempation out of the deck. I need to see it in action a little bit more though. The main benifit of temptation over corruption counters is that it is based on the blood left on the actual vampire not its cap. So it prevents players from draining them for varying purposes, and a little light combat will make them think twice about using it. All in all I am excited about the card I just got it at an inconvenient time, or rather I got all three of them at an inconvenient time.

My prey was using an Assemtite deck. I am actually kinda disappointed with how it preformed. My Assemtite deck is scary. SCARY!!!! I does fuck tons of aggravated damage, including Nizzam al-Latif. He is NEAT and he is only 9 cap and yeah good guy all in all. The assemite deck really needs some more 5 caps for support or something. I dunno he wasn't really into the game at all and so I wasn't able to judge my decks effectiveness. Boo my project is to make an Assemite/black hand contract sodomy deck. It could be amazing! I'll do it in a bit though. He kept tapping out to beat on his prey which left me open to relentlessly hammer on him. I ended up bleeding him for 7 in one turn thanks to dreamworld and him being tapped out. Oh well. I didn't oust him though more on that latter.

Next around the table was a Tzimisce wall deck. Or it was supposed to be a wall deck, it didn't do much walling though. To be fair the player using it is new to these sorts of games and VTES is like throwing him in head first so, that and his predator was on a relentless kamakazi run so he could play video games. So I dunno. Then when I was sitting next to him his defense was largly ineffective. Also he gimped himself, because he wouldn't throw away his hand full of master phase cards. So that needs to be played again.

Okay so off to the star of the game my Ventrue voting vote fuck off you voty bastard deck. Now I guarantee that the deck wouldn't of been able to do half the shit it did had its predator been doing his job. Then again, I think he would of just table talked his predator into staying RIGHT THERE because he knew I was coming for him. So not once but fucking twice TWICE! He stole my kill using Kine Rescources Contested twice. Bullshit! So I couldn't get my 6 pool which caused my predator to oust me twords the end of the game. He ended up winning solidly. He also nearly killed me using Neonate Breech. Fuck that deck. When it came around for him to be my prey I only had two pool left, and he had 7. I couldn't stop one of my predator's vampires, so it was an all or nothing full frontal assault. I got my first bleed through which was pretty massive bringing him down to 4, then I got another bleed off which brought him down to two, and my last bleed brought him down to one. One pool left. Then at the end of my turn I discarded hoping to draw something to either let me bounce the bleed or save myself. Instead I drew the one card I would of needed to win the game. Ah well so it goes.

Then there was the Torredor deck. That poor deck. It is designed to be a tool boxy bruise bleed deck. It would of worked much better had I given it some bleed cards, and moar sniper rifles. Also I need more camera phones. Camera phones are the thing that would make that deck sing like a mother fucker. After all Camera phone+flurry of action equals horribleness. It started out well by fameing up a vampire who was across the table from him. That vampire quickly got sent to torpor. What all of us didn't expect was how long that guy was willing to let that vampire sit in torpor. That one pool a turn really starts to add up, especially with pressure from my prey. In fact that vampire never did get out of torpor, instead someone else played fame and the original control declined to contest it. The whole thing felt designed to screw with me. Anyway after I was ousted the Torredor deck just couldn't put up enough pressure on the Ventrue. Then the Ventrue player used Consanguineous Boon freak drive and Consanguineous Boon again. That gave him a solid enough lead so that he could eventually chip away at the Torredor player.

Anyway so for the most part the game is a blast and I can't wait to play again. All of these decks were mine so I plan on tweeking most of them for better efficiency. Yeah I am a one man VTES play group go me go!

Monday, December 14, 2009

[Dwarf Fortress] Where I play! Part 1

It is currently Late Spring in the second year what will soon to be the epic stories of HelmTell. Right now things are just starting to get interesting. Since you are new to the fortress let me give you a guided tour.

First we start off with the surface. I made the odd choice of putting the trade depot on the surface. This is mostly because the entire bloody map is flat, no matter though. I ordered a rough building to be constructed around the depot to ensure that it is inside and to protect it from invaders. I also stuck the barracks right next to the Depot so at least some part of my military will be there at all times.

Off from the hallway we see the start of the hallway of eternal doom. I hope to have it finished by spring of next year. The idea is to break up enemy archers by using the hallway and to be able to execute amazing flanking maneuvers. If all else fails I'll just fill the thing with traps and use my army as an awesome janitorial service :).

This fortress has an epic fuckton of iron in it, so I'll really be able to crank out some serious stuff a little later on.

Right now I am working on getting bed rooms situated, the butcher bin set up, and starting to set up glassmaking which is highly ineffective but oh so cool. The rest of the pictures are just there to give you an idea of the general fortress layout.

In the next post I will begin construction of the aboroalreum! There will be much excitment.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Love is a Toaster

Okay so back to the parenting article I was going to bitch about. I've decided to widen my scope a bit because the only thing I can really say about the article is that it is vapid and it doesn't nearly cover everything that needs to be addressed. However, just addressing the problem of parenting is one of those things that is brave in of itself. So good on them.

Parenting. I know right? What a weird topic for me to be interested in. I have no desire what so ever to have children. None. Do not want. I don't even want one around long enough to fatten up and eat. Not wanting to raise children I don't really have to much of a say in how other people do it. But who cares. Cause while I don't ever plan on doing the whole parenting thing myself, I do have to deal with the effects of crappy parenting. Terrifying effects. Going away to school has shown me that my entire generation is simply not ready to handle life. We've reached the age of 18 or in many cases 21 with the same mentality of a 15 year old. Sometimes it is as bad as 12. We are a generation who can't cope with failure, who have absolutely no drive, and who just can't plain old deal with life. We are a generation of self centered crybabies looking for a hand out, and it is terrifying.

I don't exclude myself from this. I reached 18 without knowing how to tie a tie, without a suit, I didn't know how to get an aparentment or what was involved. I didn't really have a good concept of how to balance money. I lacked so many real life skills that I had to learn quickly and effectivly if I didn't want to be stuck living at home. And guess what? I had to move home for a year anyway. So isn't that hilarious?

Kicking myself around aside we have 18 year olds who have so little sense that they gave themselves scurvy. People who drop dead because they injest energy drinks instead of sleeping, and people who just can't handle life in the outside world. Like angry kid.

Angry Kid is special. He is someone who would fly into fits of rage at the slightest provecation. No seriously, literal rage. It would be over something like we didn't want to play his fiddly overly complex game, or we had seen something he wanted to show us. Now we were all expected to take it easy on him because he is going through some shit. Really though, I was against that then and I am against that now. He is 18 years old, he is living away from his parents, and he needs to be in a mental institution. If you can't handle your shit you need to go somewhere where you can. Jesus.

It's everywhere though, from the people who were so traumatized by 9/11 that they couldn't even get up from their tvs. We are an unstable mess. Over parenting is an epidemic, under parenting is also an epidemic. It is something that crosses race, gender, income, and geography. It is a transcendent problem where all the sudden we don't know how to raise our kids, and we live in a society where we are not allowed to make mistakes.

That is the biggest thing, most of the legislation we have surrounding children is so compleatly ass stupid that I don't even know how we are supposed to comprehend it. Teachers all have their hands tied by rampaging parents.

Of course I write all of this with the full knowlage that there are men in this country who still believe it is their god given right to beat their wives, that pokemon is the devil, and that ignorance is the new power. So really there are so many other problems out there I guess I don't need to worry about parenting quite so much. Besides having an ocean of retards behind me will make me look extra smart!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Something else

Woo! Okay so I was going to write this blog entry about the whole over parenting, Time's take on it, my take on it, and the hidden problem of under parenting, but really? REALLY? I just don't feel like it. So instead I am just going to write about whatever comes to mind.

First of all! My mom gave me a 100 dollar gift card to B&N which is going to comic books and theory. Then I promised myself I get a $150 from my christmas bonus to spend on comic books and other things. So ultimatly I am going to have lots and lots of stuff to read. I'm going to get a lot of really weird stuff, preorder things that haven't come out yet, and promethia which is something I'm really excited about. I don't own enough stuff by Alan Moore and someday soon that will change. Also I am going to get more hellboy. Hellboy is such a retardedly awesome series.

Next I am eagerly awaiting for the next V:TES expansion to come out. Once I get the starters from that I'll have enough suitable decks together that I can get people to start playing it with me again. I really really like V:TES and I know that once everyone else gets the actual game mechanics down they will to. I just need to make sure that there are no Stealth Bleed decks, and that everyone has an idea of how to use their decks, then it will go much better. Its strange, it really is an amazingly complex game when you start taking everything into effect. Right now I have 3 solid decks, 2 amazing stealth bleed deck, 1 more deck that will be amazing when I buy another starter, and a project deck. So with the help of the next expansion we will be set. Then we will try that shit again.

Arcane Legions! Well that went awesomely well. I am going to try and get with James latter and when we meet with Tyson over the break we can play some more. Next time we are definatly using those victory point places. I think the game works much better with those. Also I am bringing a tape measure to make sure we have an appropratly sized table. Once we get a few games like that under our belts then we can start messing around with senarios. THAT is when the game is going to get really fun. I'm hoping that the Hobby Centeral place will get more stuff in soon. I want to get Egyptian boosters from there, and James really wants to finnish his army. However, if they drag their feet for to long then back to the internet I go. Oddly enough this is one of the few things that isn't just cheaper to buy online.

SLA! SLA Industries stuff is going well. Pretty soon we'll be able to play. Before we do I want to rewrite the stress rules a bit, and then we will use the one shots to balance them out. The stress system is a truely brilliant way of simulating how stressful of a world SLA industries is, and I really want to use it, without all the idiotic book keeping that the actual system imposes. I think I got it though. I also want to roll out someone who I think is the coolest god damned villian ever. I've come up with some pretty impressive people over the years, but cuntface? Oh yeah he is definatly going to be a winner, I can tell. I'm kinda amazed I didn't come up with it sooner.

This whole week has been nothing but irreparable disruptions. So hopefully next week I'll be able to get back to work on the things that matter to me. Like the post modern pornography project, and SLA. Okay well that's me signing off now.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Your Pal The President part 2

Okay so this has been bothering me. Yes it has. It's funny cause this started with just something about the Demolition Derby, and it spread to the face book thing. The face book thing is a terrible example because it trips over my views of interweb privacy which is something I am fantasticly torn on. Seriously, my views flip flop on it every time I think about it. It is such a big topic and there is so much to get done on it, and a case like the Arlington Mayor's idiocy is a prime example.

So lets remove these things from the calculation and head somewhere else with this. Lior said something this morning in responce to yesterday's post. I didn't get to read it because at the same time I noticed that I noticed the time which was informing me that I was supposed to have left for work already. It had to do with Tiger Woods and people not being able to name their senators. So we will start there. The media! And the past.

The current way our media handles things is pretty shameful. I'm suprised their parents don't disown them for their actions. Still I think there is something telling in all of this. There is a relativly recent historical moment that we are still reeling from. Our inability to deal with this is linked to our inability to move fowards as both a country and a governmental philosphy. So lets head there.


Wait no...Damnit I am missing an article of time that has a brief history of the president's and the press. I really wanted to quote from that before going fowards. What's imporant about it is that there was a time when presidents wouldn't let reporters past the white house gate. I don't know the name of the president but he eventually took pity on them when they were out there during a rain storm. Now the damn people are everywhere.

What will really help bring this entry into focus for a lot of you, is if you go watch the movie Nixon/Frost. It's a good albeit boring movie about how someone who is little better than a talk show host managed to get the ultimate confession out of a man everyone reffered to as Tricky Dick. We look at the relentless mining of our politicians social life now with a mix of both fascination and horror. Of course I say politicians but really it is only the president and when one of them makes an ass of themselves. But it is important to realize that one of the biggest journalistic breakthroughs of the las 50 years was when Frost got Nixon to confess that he did something wrong. It is tremendous, he did it though a combonation of solid research and rediculous pandering to things that simply don't matter.

There is a part in the movie where one of Frost's aids tells him that he shouldn't be interested in irrlevent details like how Nixon took his bed to china with him. Frost replies that is what interested him though, and that right there highlighted the fact that there, at that time, there was a critical break between reporters and entertainers.

Fast foward to today and that break is almost gone. The average american's ability to distinguish between opinion peices and reporting is in the toilet. Even smart people who should know better. More and more news stations are reporting on things that were once the perview of vapid entertainers, and now vapid entertainers are giving Senators and presidancial canidates more face to face air time than some of the news corporations. Hell we have not one but two vapid entertainers (sorry Daily Show) who make a living off of making fun of how the news is becoming vapid entertainment.

This is a movement all darkly predicted by a movie called Network, also a 70's film. And it is more or less coming true. Hell I bet if Glenn Beck were to tell people to shout out their windows, "I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore" people would fucking do it. Holyshit they would. Terriflying.

So yes. Here we are at the root of the problem.

I don't have much time yet but I would like to point out another irony real quick. I started to wonder how Republican morals got linked to the conservative government phiosphy. Think about it, Republican=small government. If you don't belive that then go home. But they also want to ban gay marriage, ignore global warming, and be generally bossy about how we live our lives. You would think then that they would want a really strong federal government. So I started asking around. There were some precursors but in general, the first person who successfully equated the republican party with moral superiority was Nixon. It just sort of stuck around ever since, mostly because the Democrats kept reacting to it. I've been given the titles of several books to read on the topic and I plan on doing so, soon hopefully.

Alright I suppose I should go do something werk related.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Your pal the president

I am waaaaay to tired for 1000 Plateaus at the moment, also I saw something this morning that reminded me of something else I wanted to write a awhile ago. So linkage away!


My favorite part is where he says "At another point he said, "you know, our forefathers had it written in the original Constitution that ONLY property owners could vote, if that has stayed in there, things would be different........". Man I didn't think people like that still excisted anymore. Still the main thing to focus on is the fact that he went on an online tirade because the president cut off the Charlie Brown Christmas special. Because, I dunno maybe he hasn't seen it before or something.

Cheap shots aside, lets move on ever so slightly to something else. In an issue of Time magazine that I've lost. There was an article about how the Demolition derby circuit has been hit pretty hard by the cash for clunkers thing. One quote that stuck out clearly to me, the quote that orginally spawned this blog entry was, "Obama is an anti demolition derby guy"

Now back to the teh title!

People maintain a far to personal relationship with the president. I don't know when this has started. It prolly started in the 70's with Nixon which is where a lot of our current political attitudes have come from. I might expound on that later though. Really though, a lot of what drives people so crazy is the amount of personal investment that people seem to be putting into their politicians. So it leads to people believing that Obama is anti demolision derby or that Obama is anti...snoopy. I mean really REALLY why in gods name would Obama, as his muslim plot, interrupt snoopy? It doesn't make sense.

On the same note Obama isn't anti DD. Well okay I mean in an esoteric sense I guess he is, but he didn't make the cash for clunkers program to kill the DD. I mean come on now. I'm sure it wasn't even considered as a possible side effect.

The president, is not our best friend. He leads the country, and he isn't here to pander to everyone's needs and it is insane to assume that he should. It is this sort of thing that leads people to vote based on the president's food choice, hair cuts, and other things that have absolutly nothing to do with anything. I believe that our relentless mining of our elected leader's personal lives also stems from this. Insanely, our elected officials seem to be making this problem much worse rather than better. They appear on talk shows, the daily, show and other irrelevent shows to make themselves more appealing to people. In their sheer desperation for the atension of the american people they are forgetting that they are leaders of men. They should be winning people over with orator,y their statesman ship, and their ability to lead. There is no leadership in the vast majority of our government. These are just little people who are desperate to keep their jobs. It is rather pathetic and I am starting to getting deeply upset by it.

The sad thing is that our president, and the rest of the federal government are the only people who actually are leading the country, whereas state and local government are just... I don't even know what is going on with them. Some of them are trying desperately to save their states and cities but other elected officials are going on tirades on facebook because of the snoopy special, or running around claiming the obama islamic thing. *sigh* This is loosing focus. Oh well I should of researched it a bit more. This is actually not nearly as straight forward of a topic as I thought it is.

The point is that the relationship we maintain with our elected leaders is just about completely inappropriate. Yes we are supposed to be paying epic amounts of atension to them, but we are paying atension to the wrong things. As a result there is a generalized failure to lead correctly. This is one of those everyone is at fault cascade failures. It is also something worth worrying about. Imagine, if Glenn Beck had greater aspirations other than being a money grubbing sleaze bag.

All we need is one leader in the wrong place and then we could be in seriouse trouble. It is kinda scary typing something like that since I am so anti doom and gloom politics. But I see the irrational fear out there, fear that is so easy to lead, mold, and control. Oh well.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

End of the Month Review November!

Well November has most certainly come and gone. What an unusually active month it has been at that. I've had two different women express desire for me without me noticing, got my friends to love arcane legion, got a lot of serious thinking done, watched a lot of star trek the next generation, and wrote a novel. I like being able to type sentences like that and I endeavor to do so more in the future.

Blog wise I had both a light and a very heavy month. Light for this blog but Licking the Subconsious got 21 new entries to it, which is pretty impressive.

I've totally failed at doing this for October but that's alright it is now December no sense dwelling on the failures of the past! (kinda joking). Oh I've also had a rather serious emotional crisis. I almost forgot about that. Man. Once I identified there was a problem the symptoms immediately started to abate but its left me with no clue of the cause. It wasn't depression or even sadness. It was more like I ended up completely removed from the situation I found myself in. It felt like it was February and I was having all the concerns for then. I don't understand it. But I've been feeling more present recently so I'm guessing it is okay to relax. Can't know everything. Still it was so very strange though.

I'm still a little off though, but then again I am kinda fucked up in general so it is hard to gage these things.

Lets see anything else worthy of note...Thanksgiving was a crazy ass gaming fest that went from 7ish to 4am. I wouldn't of had it any other way.

Guess that's it.

Alright Blogwise month in review!

11 Blog entries!

Most of them were signifigantly shorter than average.

3 about gaming.
4 about Nano
1 about teh emotional crisis

Oh and one about Labor, the American work force and why our employers are dicks.

Huh well if you can spot the odd man out you get a gold star.

Anyway high point of the month is actually doing the novel. Man, of all the months to do something like this in this is one of the worst, and depspite all my bitching, moaning, complaining, and carrying on I did it. I was the only person around to give my self any sort of real encouragment or motivation. That's what really excites me.

Low point would be the whole "things are wrong in mah head" thing. It trouble me. Oh well that's it for the month in review. It's been a good month ladies and gentlemen.

Lets hope I can make the next month far more interesting.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Nun Porn

So I am doing this thing for Sasha. Why? Cause I am awesome. Here is a list of things I need to download and tear apart. It will grow and shrink more or less as I need it to.

Dead Alive (Just one amazing scene)
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
Dracula 2000 (I need just one scene)
Haxan (I need to rip from dvd)
Behind the Convent Wall
Images in a Convent
Killer Nun
School of the Holy beast
Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun
The Nun

Hard to find stuff
The Nun of Monza
Nuns of St. Archangel
Story of a Cloistered Nun
The Convent of Sinners
Flavia the Heretic
Satanico Pandemonium
The Devils
Un Chien de Andilou

A lot of these may be really hard to find either on torrents or elsewhere. I really should join an obscure movie site. Anyway I want to get at least two hours of clips. I should be able to do this with most of these movies and all the porn I have. YAY!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Job's Done

If you've played either Warcraft 2 or 3 then you know exactly how that sound in my head. I kinda want to play that game now. I always liked building large armies and just sort of throwing them places. There never really was very much stradigy involved in thous games for me. Just action.

But yeah so I finnished my novel. How about that. Earlyer in the month I was complaining about how this is a terrible month to be doing stuff like this, I mean major family holiday, major shopping day, school midterms, it is just in the middle of everything. Then again though? I think that's all part of it. To me the point of the whole thing is to literally set aside the time and to write. At the end of the day who really gives a fuck if it is easy. It being easy isn't the point. Of course on top of all of that I have had the worst bouts of insomnia that I have had in a very very long time. There were days where I was so tired I could bearly function and I would litterally write, pass out, wake up 45 minuts later and then keep going. This used to happen to me a lot in high school and I must say its return is rather unwelcome. The power nap thing would be accompanied by unable to sleep later, and increadbly lethargic mornings. Still I managed it. I managed it with us being short at work for two fucking weeks and and all the sudden my cut hours turned into very long grueling hours, I also did it despite taking three days off for nerd invasion.

Still with an imuntable schedual of 2000 words a day minimum I manged to finnish the thing by November 28th. I would of been done on the 27th but I wanted to stop and reflect upon the ending to try and make it something very special to me. I did too! With the actual ending that is. The epilouge needs to be rewritten. I might get to it someday. That's the thing though. I have a novel now!

Well kinda. It needs editing. LOTS of editing. There were days where I was bearly consiouse while writting, there were days where I didn't know what was going to happen next so I just had things happen, and there are at least two things that were supposed to happen that didn't. Since it is largely about suicide loose ends are THEMEATIC! not just loose ends, but still both of the missing scenes are really important and should be there because I think they will make the ending make more sense.

One is where Link and the cowboy hang out for a little bit and bond, and the other is where Link goes and comforts bitchface.

About the names, yeah that whole thing totally started as a joke, but then more and more it made sense to me. Everyone from his past gets a name, and no one from the prescent does. It is something I could write a paper on. Which is one of the nicest things I've ever said to myself.

I'm not sure what else to say about it all. It was hard. One of the harder things I've ever done. I don't feel proud of myself very often but this is definatly one of the time where I do. I'm a little sad that I have no one directly to share my triumph with. That is a little bit of a bummer. I was so excited when I finnished it and then I realized that it is three in the morning and no one was around. That kinda crapped on my parade a little bit.

To be fair though I did set out on this thing on my own. By the time Lior tried to give my helpful advice I was to far ahead of what has been posted for him to be of any help. Most of my friends didn't even ask what it was about until it was over halfway finnished. And Sasha's life has been partially upheaved so she's been very busy with that. The silver lining to all of this though is that I did all of this with little support and almost no encouragement what so ever. That's good! I don't take either well but it is one of those things I feared I need other people for. I do need other people for the editing process, but that isn't a bridge I intend on crossing any time soon. As of right now I am taking a couple of weeks off. I'll do a little fun reading, some blogging, play some video games. Then I'll start on the next thing, flush with the knowlage that I can do things like this if I just put my mind to it.

Isn't that something. I kinda want to print the whole thing out and stick it to my wall.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I like lists


I remeber in sport's night Dan I think said, "What is it with women and lists, a woman is never so happy when they are making a list" I like making lists sometimes. It helps me focus on the things I want to be doing. Right now I am drawing my novel to a close. I'm excited, and as I know I've said twice now there will be an extended...you know what list starts now.

Things I feel like doing:

Blog topics:

1) Part two of the worker thing I don't even remeber what part two was going to be about. That's okay though I'll figgure it out when I read the post. OH yeah its from the actual workers perspective and working up, instead of the all our bosses are dicks and lack of noblese obliage.

2) The fed thing. In fact as soon as I do my novel blog, I am doing that one. Actually, I might do it first. The fed thing really bothers me. Fed suicide thing specifically

3) In the current issue of time there is an article about over parenting. Granted its written by Nacy Gibbs and she is retarded. But I am sure there is going to be a topic in there somewhere.

Video Games:

1) I wanna play more Dungeon Fighters. That game is awesome

2) I need to figgure out what I am going to be doing about city of heros. Right now, I don't play it enough to justify the cost and I am not sure I am going to be any time soon. Once going Rouge comes out I am still not sure if I am going to be. So if I am still not playing regularly by the end of the month then buh bye.

3) I want to play through Balder's Gate. I spontaneously downloaded it last night and I think I want to do it. I might end up playing planscape torment though. It came on the same torrent and it will run easily on the baby laptop.


Arcane Legions!: Yeah mother fucker demoing that game has been an epic success!. So I need to get an egyptian army together and prepare myself for laying the epic smack down on people that they so rightfully deserve.

VTES: I have 2 decks where I want them, and once people learn to play I have 4 decks that will be just fine. I have one deck that will be amazing someday just because the concept is so damn cool. Assemites black hand beatdown deck. In Febuary a new big expansion comes out so I'll be getting the starters from that. That should make up for the dude torredor starter. After that I think we'll be good to go and I'll try it again.

Big Projects:

Post Modern Pornography Project: I think I am going to wait until January before I start working on it proper. Start it in January maybe wrap it up in time for valentines day. That would be pretty cool. Last year I wrote Sasha some zombie porn, and the time before that I made her 24 or so cards, so doing something geeky in the opposite direction might be nice. I don't want it to be just for her though, this is for everyone. I dunno I'll figgure it out. I need to do some seriouse reading before I'll be ready. Two chapters from Lacan (shudder), a good chunck of 1000 Plateaus, Precession of the Simulacrum, and maybe some other stuff. I figgure I'll start boning up on my reading now, so I can get lots of theoretical ideas in my head before I watch the porn proper. There will be a HILARIOUSE where I watch thread when that happens I a garentee.

RPGS: Since Sasha/Mike visitation is terminated for the near visable future (fuck I am so MAD about that you don't understand) I guess I should start getting back into the whole roleplaying thing. I'm going to start gathering up some sla industries one shots. I have one half written from October here on baby laptop. So I'll get like 5 or so whipped up and run them whenever. If it turns into a weekly thing so be it.

I kinda want to do the evil D&D thing a few more times. I am excited by it generally and it is something I've wanted to do for awhile now. I think it could be AMAZINGLY fun, but I would really have to delve into the rules and get solid on a lot of stuff. There is a huge difference between running it and playing it. I dunno.

Also paranoia is always one of those things that everyone wants to play now.

Alright back to the grind house for me!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Not Phantasy Star Zero

Yeah right now I really really want to be playing that game cause it is frigging awesome. However, I'm starting to suspect that it is becoming a bit of a problem so off to blogger land instead! I'm on the home stretch for my novel, if all goes right I'll hit 50k by friday! Then I'll be back to my normal blogging schedual including a nice big indepth blog on the whole ups and downs of the novel writting process.

What I am instead going to talk about is why do Americans work the way they do. It's interesting really. If you don't know, go look up the amount of vacation time you'd get in England or France. The rest of europe follows suit. On top of that they are expected to stay home when sick, they get holidays off, and all sorts of other crazy things.

I don't want to focus to much on that though. Even if Europe doesn't excist the average worker is pretty crazy here in the USA. White Collar wise they work 40 hours minimum. They are oftentimes expected to take their work home if it isn't done by the end of the day, come in on weekends, and all with no additional financial benefit. That's the fucked up thing about salaried empolyment, you get fuck all in terms of over time compensation and you end up working a lot of it. It is kind of insane. The worst insident of this I've ever seen with my own eyes happened back when I was working help desk a place called Supra Telecom. They were doing major upgrades to the network. So they had a team of contractors come in over night to do the job. My boss, the network administrator, gets to work at about 7am or so. He works the whole day, stays over night to help out with the crew doing the upgrades, and then he works until 12 the next day when he finnally decides that he is going mother fucking home. To give you a little history 5 years ago this guy was fresh off the boat from Greece of all places and working in a warehouse. He's a man who took the time to educate himself so that he could make a better life for him and his family. He deserves better.

Leaving white collar and IT behind minimum wage jobs, and blue collare employers are actually even worse about abusing their employees. I'm talking unpaid over time, unsafe working conditions, or skirting the bare edges of the employment laws to squeeze the most out of each and every person until there is nothing left. This all isn't from person experience either. Nor is this an unfocused rant. I... okay well I lost the link that has all the numbers. Wait no I found one! I am doing this at lunch so my time is somewhat limited. It has european numbers too! Woop!


Anyway. They ask why do we work so hard. It's an article with an open question that I will attempt to answer now that the whole framing part of the blog is done. The answer is two fold, American employers are dicks, and there is absolutely nothing from stopping them from being dicks. Historically speaking America has always had a large influx of immigrant population to make things happen. In the north around the civil war time we had the irish. Lots of irish who were fleeing a potato famine. There was no hope back home, work here, and as the maxim goes there are more where you came from so you will put up with whatever horrors we inflict upon you otherwise we will just do it to someone else. In the south we had slavery which is basicly the same thing as the irish except we paid their life time salary up front to someone else. I'm half joking put the damn rocks down. We made the chinese build our rail roads, cause you know they came over here and, well they might as well. The list doesn't go on much further though, unless you want to count the Mexicans doing every shit job ever, which you should.

With the miners we saw the first organized reisitance which coincides with some of the most apalling working conditions ever seen and easy access to dynamite. I don't think people really understand that in order to get mine owners to not be such massive collective mother fucking ass holes they literally had to engage in terrorist actions to make them stop. They blew up bridges, mine shafts, rail lines, all sorts of things. Of course back then they were called Anarchists, but in order to wrest back some basic human rights that should be a part of our consititution, lots of people had to die.

We also had to go to war with ourselves to make ourselves stop using slavery. I really do hate the whole states rights part of the civil war thing. Blah blah blah federal government this and that. NO motherfucker you can not use black people as disposable labor and going neener neerer not part of your country anymore isn't going to save you. Put your rebel flag down.

Rants aside. Blue collars, thanks to the anarchists have unions to hell and back as a result most of the blue collar work went overseas. Its funny, why wait for immigration to happen when we can just go to them? Its cheaper and their countries have less laws. Or we started abusing our white collar workers.

I think I am going to make this a two parter.

Anyway! So yeah employers are dicks. Why is it better in europe? Well they had royalty. They had empires, and they understand that it is important to treat your population with care and respect, not only that but to make sure that other people treat them with care and respect. That is kind of how that works. I mean saying a blanket statment about europe is retarded because there is so much to it and so many diffrent overriding factors. But this is one that paticularly stands out. One thing that makes them very diffrent than us. I do think it is one paticularly critical diffrence between them and us. There is also the historical idea that many of our ancestors came over here to get away from monarchy.

I'm not saying europe is perfect. They had all the same human rights violations we did. THey had them worse in some cases. But they also didn't go to war over stopping with the slavery, and they don't ride their empolyees like we do here now. So something is certainly diffrent.

Friday, November 20, 2009

So much for that

So I decided I want ed to use more reffrences and citations here. Look at the last post! I did such a great job! So I was going to make a reffrence to a post I thought I wrote. And... I didn't.

I didn't even write it and forget to publish it, NO that shit just isn't real. I know I've touched on this topic before else where so I could go find it, but it really is an inordinate amount of effort. It isn't like this is going to be literary theory or the start of an inflamitory political discourse. Or even about high class geekery. Instead it is going to be about me. Yep little old me. I've been doing that alot lately but I've also been Nanoing and that takes a tremendouse amount of time. It really does. Oh well.

Anyway occationally I'll just be sitting around and something will come over me and I'll realize that things are going to change soon. Oppertunities will happen, doors will open, some will shut, but change will occure. Basicly, something will happen and all the sudden my staus quo will be in danger. Now I like to believe that my status quo and I have a healthy relationship. I accept some changes into my life with open, loving arms, and I am generally okay with it. Other times I am fending off said change with a bat and a fist full of furious anger. Also sometimes I accept it with a sort of dull placid inevitablilty.

Sometimes when I get these feelings I feel kind of paranoid and strange. Sitting there with my milk and cookies surrounded by candles all the sudden I look up from a book and go, "change is coming". Utter madness. Then when it does you end up saying to yourself, "Holy shit that just happened". That's the thing though I'll know it is coming but I'll never know what form it will take or how long it will last. This month it seems like my past is coming back to roost. People, some who I haven't spoken to in months, others years, still others 5 years or more are suddently showing up. Other times it is me going out and finding these people who I haven't spoken to and digging them up. Either way everyone who has started talking to me again is a welcome addition to my circle of socialization. Which is rare! Normally there is someone who I just have to throw out or something.

Anyway. I once wrote to Sasha about the ghosts from my past coming to haunt me. This was a time, like now, where people were showing up. However, some of these weren't welcome. She replied that ghosts are alright it is the poltergeists that you need to worry about. To this day I don't understand that. It's okay though because as of right now that's not happening to me and I am glad.

Oh well! I'm heading off, night you crazy kids.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Not My Novel, Also Not What I am Supposed to be Writting

Well so recently I've discovered that there is something wrong inside of me. Mentally/spititually not physically. After trying out the most obviouse and easy answer I realized that it is something bigger than that. Well fuck. I should be trying to figgure out what it is. But I only have 45 minuts before I need to go to work so I'll do it when I have a little more time. I'm not depressed, and I am generally in a really good mood. But it is something that is kinda causing me to go to ground, hence the lack of updates here. Yeah you would think it would be the fucking novel that slows me down. Nope!

So the other day out of curiosity I began going over it trying to figgure out what I would need to do to make it a real book. After poking around I realize that the answer is a-fucking-lot. First of all I tend to write a scene a day. So as a result each scene in the book averages 2000 words and is three pages long. This leads to a highly unatural reading experience. This is a reult of both not wanting to stop writting in the middle of a scene and the need to have a minimum word count to meet. Bleh. So I would need to go around smoothing things out BIG time. In addition, because I am writting so fast, there are certain scenes that need more time spent with them, and quite frankly they just didn't get enough atension. For example, assuming the book ends at 50k words then I have literally spent half the book building up the introduction of this charecter. I know that whatever the hell it is I wrote isn't good enough. The idea behind her introduction is to make her seem like a let down and to make you question the main charecter's sanity even more than you have been. But I think I got a little bit to carried away with the let down part. I am about to unleash her in her full glory...tonight actually so I am pretty excited.

Also I tend to repete myself a lot. I don't mean to. What I mean to do is to advance the theme I am trying to in an interesting or clever way. Instead I end up repeating myself. This is ever so slightly embarassing. However, it is also stuff like this that causes me to not finish anything. I get so wrapped up in things I tend to forget to work on them. So far I am really happy that I am participating in NaNo. I am learning a lot of stuff about myself, and it is almost thrilling to watch myself set a goal, and now I am meeting it. All by myself with no real outside encouragement. Hell I haven't even updated my Nano profile and I don't know a single other person who is actually doing it.

Fuck most people haven't even askes what the book is about.

Not the point though. The point is that I am doing it and I am happy!

Soon I am going to get started on the post modern pornography project, or the ppp for short. I think I am going to end up just ordering a copy of ecrits in the mail because it is just something I know I am going to end up needing time and time again. I don't want to use Lacan, every time I use Lacan I develop a rash in my nether regions and a profound sense of guilt every time I use a metaphore. OH FUCK a lacnian reading of furries? That would be BAD ASS! Post modern fetish project coming your way this summer. Or something like that.

I'd be using this. Man that would be cool.

Anyway, the ppp is going to only be half finnished for awhile. Mostly because Sasha's current situation doesn't allow for long periods of sustained writting, and I am not there to "encourage" her to get to work. Still I am going to do my part. I've decided that for my primary texts I am going to use some Jenna Jameson pornos. I'm doing this for three reasons, 1) She is as close to mainstream as a porn star can get, 2) She is in depressingly vanilla pornos, 3) I think she is really funny looking. Most scholarly work I've read that looks at pornography fails to anchor any of its arguments in acutual specific porno movies. This makes sense of course because the vast majority of pornography is interchangable. Still you need a way to achor arguments. By using Jenna, the everywoman of pornography to talk about pornography I hope to sort of level the coversation out and to get some actual real work done with how pornography functions in regards to its viewer.

I also maintain the right to abandon this line of inquery and go hunt down really cool fetish porn. But whatever.

Hey I own an Ink pad I remeber what that was for. I should reactivate that project.

After that I'll be turning my atensions elsewhere. I'm not forgetting about that. Shroddinger's Rapist indeed. Grow. Up.

Meh. Oh hey so tomarrow I am demoing Arcane Legions to a vast majority of my friends. I wish I had some gaming terrian I could use. I could go and buy some but that is really fucking expensive. I think what I am going to end up doing is using deck boxes, and card boxes to represent ruined buildings until I can actually get some built. I also need a tape measure, can't forget that.

I've been wanting to play a mass combat minature game since...fuck I dunno since middle school which is where I first heard of warhammer. The thing about warhammer and its future counter part is that they are both increadbly average games that just aren't very fun. This game seems really neat though, it looks really easy to pick up. The price is right, I've just about assemebled two entire armies for the same price as this:

Granted yeah that thing is cool enough for me to want a tatoo of it. But it is just one part of a much much larger army. So I could get two entire armies for another game, or that. Hrm. So hopefully other people will get into it. There is tons of variety with troop selection and the types of armies you can field which is really important to me. So despite the fact that there are only three factions you can have three people playing the same faction but end up with three very diffrent armies.

Also they don't really do blind buying which is AWESOME.

Aright enough on Arcane Legions I really want to do a blog post on it all by itself after I've played a couple of games with people. I want to do a comparison which shows how this game does a lot of things right in comparison to other companies who end up doing things increadbly wrong.

I'm pretty excited. I also need to go to work. Well fine. Tonight is an exciting part of the story! I am thinking I'm going to end up devoting two nights to it cause it is really important. I'm not so sure. Just about the whole cast is getting brought out and that's going to be neat. Kay late late.

Post werk update! This thing that's bothering me, I don't feel like explaining what it is right now. It totally excists though. I am starting to think that it might be some fancy new coping method for dealing with the holidays. I hate the holiday season, I really fucking do. I always have hated it and I pretty much always will. So this might be a way of dealing with it that isn't depression. If it is that would be AWESOME! We'll see how it goes when the holidays actually get here, and if the problem still percists after they are gone.

The less time I spend uncontrollabley depressed the fucking better. I can't stand that shit and it is such a stupid waste of my valuable time.

Okay that is all I wanted to say really. Carry on.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Filling of the Sausage Reprise

SO! It is funny how quickly things work out sometimes. Last time I did a filling of the sausage blog I was writting about how I wanted a game to play when Arkham was either to much to put up or break down, or just to prevent Arkham burn out. Last Night on Earth was presented to me and I gotta say it is a pretty fun game, however not my style. I do have plans for my Christmas bonus, I really want comic books though so we'll see I guess.

Anyway the game I discovered is called Arcane Legions. Yeah I know, I cringe just a little bit every time I type that in because it is a pretty stupid name but we'll work through that. The premise is that the year is 36 BC or something close to that. Marc Anthony and Cleopatra are fighting with Rome and I don't remeber how the Han dynasty fits in (Chinese) but it does. What do you want I am a little foggy on history. Anyway all that stops mattering when the night of mists happen and mythological beasts begin roaming the land and magic becomes a thing that happens now. It is a miniature war game on a pretty grand scale, and it brings the right combination of ease and cool factor to the table.

For example the romans have a calvery unit that is on bears. BEARS! People mounted on BEARS! That is made of exciting. The Egypitians have undead folks and who doesn't love the undead! Serial killers that's who. Oh yeah and the Chinese have all sorts of awesome things. I love chinese mythology so I am good to go.

The game is dead easy to teach and it looks to be incredibly friendly to new wargamers. It also has some of the best interpretation mounted archers I have ever seen in my entire life. This is because you are allowed to move, then shoot, then move again, along with other variety of orders. Also you are allowed to shoot into hand to hand combat which is fantastic. So you can use calvery units to anchor an enemy unit in place then use your horse archers to run up and do the pin cushion thing. Essentially this is a game that has been desighned by people who really know how to make a war game enjoyable and I can't bloody wait to start playing. Oh heh yeah the price is something that simply can not be beaten.

Nerd Invasion

So let's try this again.

Last friday night was an event called Nerd Invasion, saturday night I held my own event called holy shit I am going to sleep, Sunday night was zomg I need to get my ass in gear novel wise, and now it is monday morning. There is a hurrican on its way but I is really no more than a baby hurricane and it is something that I just can't be bothered to get up in arms about.

So nerd invasion. Man now that was something. To be honest for awhile I didn't want to go to it. It looked stupid, small, and poorly organized. It most definatly wasn't wrong about the second two things but despite everything it most certainly wasn't stupid. Over the course of the last two days it has gotten me thinking about the ups and downs of geek culture and just how much I enjoy it.

It is said, by Socrates I believe, that you can learn more from someone in an hour of play than you can from months of conversation. I absoluely believe this to be the case, I know I've played with enough people to know that the way they conduct themselves during a game is fundamentally tied to thier charecter. That aside, there is also the deisre to play. The want to try new things, be challanged in diffrent ways, to set aside the division between competition and fun and just bloody enjoy yourself for an evening.

That said nothing is perfect. Tempers occationally flaired, and since nothing started on time the whole thing became an unending series of small disasters for the coodinators. But I wasn't one of those people. I was there to have fun. So was everyone else. There is a fundamental diffrence between a large gathering of geeks and normal people. Maybe the low testosterone and lack of sexual sleaze makes for a more relaxed environment, maybe it has to do with the fact that everyone in the room had at least 1 hobby and enjoyed talking about it, maybe it is because most of us have not forgotten how to laugh and have fun. I really don't know what it was. However, geek gatherings both large and small have a certain energy, life, and beauty to them that gathering of normal people just plain lack. At times it almost saddens me, even the girl who spent half the night sitting in the corrner playing her DS seemed to be having more fun that the guy who sits at a bar all night staring into space. Oh well.

It was a good time, a time where I hatched plots to change the world, talked to strangers, laughed, and truely felt accepted far more so than anywhere else. It was a good time and I hope it comes back to see us again sometime.


-The cat eared girl. Man other people do cocain to be more like this person. She was crazy, but in a good fun way. She had a whole bunch of glitter in her purse that she wanted to wear but didn't for fear of being mocked as a twilight vampire. I loudly decalred that it is time we take back glitter from twilight and with her unusual amount of excitment I ended up covered in glitters! It was awesome! Then anytime I walked within a 5 foot radius of her she would run, grab me, and drag me over to her covnversation to explain the glitter thing which was pretty cool.

- "Oh hey Mike good your here start moving these tables". To put this in perspective earlyer I had asked my friend if I volunteered to help did I have to pay to get in. He didn't know but he assumed we still had to pay. So I stayed at home. So when I show up in my suit I get let in before everyone else, because I am in a suit, and I end up moving tables and chairs around. Oddly enough, this isn't the first time I ended up rediculously nicely dressed while moving furniture. Last time though I was in a prom dress which makes it slightly more fabulose.

-That 13 year old. So I spent 2 hours gaurding a door because thats how late they were starting the music. As a result a large group of my friends gathered by the door + extra people hoping to get in. One person was this girl who we immeadiatly made friends with, talked to, and generally had fun with. After about a half hour someone realized she is still hanging around us, she is having fun, and we didn't know her name. Perfect for anime club, despite her age. Still hopefully she will come.

-In the same category of the 13 year old is Pirate Rae. I have no idea what her real name is, but what a fun little person. She apparently does voice acting for anime! But I didn't learn that until 4 in the morning when we were hanging out for the second time. I'm glad I met her though. Her friend was really nice to and was apparently all into me. Compleatly failed on picking up on that though which resulted in varying amounts of hilarity later on.

-Sean and I started to hatch a plot to make the world a better place. It was 5:30 in the morning and I was trying to go home. Yeah the event lasted from 7pm to 12 the next day. I didn't really start to slow down until 4. Anyone who says geeks don't do it longer and harder is an idiot. Anyway, we got to talking about the need for a centeralized meeting space for liberals to gather, in person, on a weekly basis, to discuss things like messages themes and ideas. There will be a specific blog entry on this subject later. It does directly have to do with gay marriage being repealed in Maine. Something might come of it. Nothing might come of it. However, for one half hour between 5 and 5:30 in the morning the two of us started hatching a plan to make this world a better motherfucking place. I just think that that sort of dialoge being possible in a place like that is a thing of pure, raw, beauty.

There are many more things I could list but I need to go to work. I just wanted everyone to know that this happened to me and it was grand. It is something I wish everyone could enjoy. Ah well.