Sticks and Stones

So just in case anyone was wondering I totally bricked my DS while putting it back together. I did it at the last possible opertunity to do so. I swore violently for about 5 minuts while ordering a new one off of amazon. It should be here tomarrow because I paid extra for the 2 day shipping. If it isn't I will shit several bricks and build me a new house made of my shit bricks and mortar of pain. I just realized that tears would go well with the drywall instead of just calling it "the other stuff". And there is decorative trimming and everything. Confused? Go watch Sport's Night. You have no excuses to miss Sport's Night Reffrences.

I go to work at 4 today. Hence this update. I am happy about this actually. I like going in at 4, the reduction of hours is slightly sad but it isn't that big of a deal actually. I also know it is only a temporary thing so whateva.

In the future I plan on actually writting updates on tuesdays this is more happy drift in space time for me right now. Currently I am looking at Laptops. I feel kinda sheepish when I look at the price of a used laptop in comparioson to what I have been wanting. So yeah I forgot Craigslist excits. Sue me. I also saw a super sweet briefcase, still looks brand new, BLACK leather. That excites me. However, one thing at a time though.

Hey lets pretend I think about things that are actually interesting!

Well interesting to me at least.

Arkham Horror. So I bought myself a copy of the big bad board game. It feels wierd, I gotta say and I am not sure why. Mostly I think it is because it makes me think of my past.

See I remeber this moment where I was hanging out with Lior at my house and we were running black metal through my decent house speakers. We were talking about getting older and still listening to this stuff when we are like 50 and generally just still being crazy. The crazy part is true, I'm still that. I don't really do the black metal anymore though. I have a deep abiding respect for the genra but, at the time I had certain needs that I needed filled. I no longer have those needs, which means I no longer, randomly pop in a black metal cd and rock out. Prolly for the best too because I listen to music mostly in my car which means someone would definatly die.

Every once in a while I think I want it all on my computer again, and then I realize the irrelevence of it all. Not the music itself but my need for it. Does that make sense? Well the only way to really REALLY explain it is to say a whole lot of things about myself that I am not quite ready to smear all over the internet. So we will just have to leave it at that.

See while my taste in music...well it didn't really change at all I just don't listen to black metal now...I guess evolved is the word. Gaming still runs strong in these veins. Of course two of my favorite childhood books was Dietiy & Demigods and the Monster Manual from 2nd edition AD&D so that might have something to do with it. There is more to it though than that. I guess comparing gaming to musical tastes is a lot like apples and oranges. However, they are both things I am expected to grow out of and I never planned to. It is just that for one of the things I did.

Gaming is nice though, there are times where I have walked into a darkened room, and didn't even bother exchanging names with the people around me I instead just called downs. Over time I've realized that as long as you are not an asshole not even comparable skill levles matter, just the ability to have fun. Lots of fun. It gets to the point where when I watch normal people, or even people I can sorta relate to, interact I just feel so utterly alienated.

This brings me back to my friend Ian's 21st birthday party. Sasha used to tell these jokes about people who claim that Jonny Cash is thier favorite artist and then they will rank his top 5 cds, and it will always been the same 4 cds and the one edgy one to make them diffrent. At that party I overheard that exact conversation. Frightening. Obsucre social reffrences aside I am not entirely certain what people do and talk about. I spent and evening hanging out with 30+ hipster kids who spent most of the night talking about buying each other on myspace, which made me wonder if I was missing something deep and increadbly fun about the activity. NO no I am not.

So yeah I don't think I'll be giving up the game thing any time soon. I mean why would I. I like Jonny Cash but I have no deep abidding love for his music. It is good stuff, not to much more or less. If I want to listen to songs about bad people doing bad things, well Nick Cave does it better. At that point I just united every Jonny Cash fan in the history of ever against me. I'll take comfort in knowing that once they have disposed of me they will claw at each other and there will be an orgy of violence over my dead body. Man one can only hope right?

Things like this disapoint me though. Ranks, pissing contests, pecking orders, I don't understand thier use. Which is funny because I engage in activities which are inherently competative. Mayhaps there is also the distinct realization that our competition ultimatly means nothing. Or maybe it is because when we meet someone who "doesn't get it". I suppose I should point out that there is no grand utopia in the video gaming world. Maybe that's it. You can tell more about someone playing with them for an hour than you can through a year in coversation. It is hard to be "fake" while gaming and maintaining a front is even harder. If you are some sort of cheating cunt, that will come out. If you are an impacient asshole, that's coming out to. If you are the sort of person who is willing to sacrifice everyone elses fun at the expense of the people around you well you know how that happens. Anyway, it is much easyer to tell if someone is a dooshbag or not while playing a game.

All this rambling leads back to Arkham right now. See Arkham isn't a competative game. It is a game where a group of people try to take down the game itself. It is hard enough so that you need everyone to be focused on the task at hand which is beating the game. Failure to pay atension for more than one turn could, and nearly has spelled disaster for all of us. Yet when it is all said and done we come out the other side, amazed that we are still alive and happy to have played. Or we loose and declare the desire for bitter revenge. It is something I can see myself playing for the rest of my life. 'Tis the point. Because while a wild untamed teenage rage is something I have given up on, playing with a group of friends against something that seems nearly insurmountable is not.