Crimson Teared Farewells

Holy fuck I don't get this. Okay so here is the deal because I don't have a lot of time. I haven't updated my blog very much lately. There have been reasons for that, I've been writting more fiction, learning to streamline KOL, vacation, et cetera. I've also more or less stopped sleeping when I am at home which seriously cuts into my ability to write. No matter.

It isn't that I don't have things to say either. Last week I went to New Orleans, in that week I had enough experiences to fill a decent sized book with essays. As a genra I hate travel essays too so that is saying something. I'd really like to get some of them down on paper but something else is happening.

See I fucked up sasha's birthday present. I had two diffrent groups of people flake out on me, and mail not come on time. In two frenzied days I got something together then forgot it.

I am dumb.

So now I am going back and making it shine, like really shine. After all I might as well take my time with it now and just give it to her when I go back in three weeks or so. This means that I won't be writting here for awhile. That is slightly sad.

I do believe in something called warmup writting, which is when I just sort of pound out some random paragraphs of fiction just to get me going, followed by haikus. I might start posting them. I am not sure though sometimes they are laughably bad...although it would be fun to show some of that off so who knows. Whatever.

About that title... yeah I don't know either. I have this increadble amount of agression running around inside of me. I feel like I am some sort of caged animal about to die of adreniline poisoning. I have no idea why though, and it is starting to freak me out a bit. Like I sat down to warm up before this and 3 of the 5 haikus I banged out were really agressive...here look:


Even the ants run
Smoke clouds are blocking the sun
The rain will not come

A return to grass
Nothing can resist the fall
Heaven’s gate crumples

The bitter wind blows
Oranges wither and die
Killing off July

Twilight hit’s the town
Golden light retreats to night
Cats begin to prowl

Horizon gives way
As dawn starts to break on through
A new day rises

After the third one I started making a consiouse effort to calm down. So yeah... kinda scary. Agressive black metal haikus means I need to chill the fuck out. I've been like this for the last three days too. Huh. Oh well I'll figgure it out. Maybe I'll blame it on sexual frustration and call it a day, or maybe not. I don't know. I guess it is just an unpleasent reminder that I once used to be a very very angry young man and you never truely leave anything behind for good.