Not gonna break my combo bitches!

Man the combo breaker. Such a simple thing of utter beauty. I wish it would make its way into other games.

Anyway it is lunch time bitches! And while I was unloading I came up with like 50 topics to write about I think I am instead going to wax poetic on the end of my novel the start of something new and some other things. I had a dream last night. It was very depressing. I don't really have nightmares anymore. Instead what I will have are these low sad little things that dredge up everything I feel bad about so that when I wake up in the morning I'll feel aweful. It also doesn't help that my alarm went off in the exact wrong moment in my REM cycle so that I feel tried and draggy all day. This is something that will pass and I am in reasonably high spirits, but I can't really express myself because I feel exhausted. Poo. This isn't a for real thing and I am not worried though.

In other news I will pen the final words of my novel tonight. It has been a month of me telling people no. Sorry about that but this is something I want to do. It will be just a tad bit over 50,000 words and it will be finished and mine. While I do very much want to do the serialized fiction thing it won't be with this story. It isn't that the characters aren't interesting or that the story isn't fun but it is more that I don't want to be tied down to it. I'd much rather produce a quality game session a week or something like that. Also the story itself? Well it started out as an idea that should of been a lot of fun. There are moments that are a lot of fun, but most of the books is very sad, and some parts of the book are very dark and that is not quite where I wanted to go with this.

I do want edit it up, put the spit shine on it and hell who knows maybe I'll get it bound. The binding idea sounds nice. I could shine up the first one too and put them in the same volume or something like that. The story I originally wanted to write would of been a continuation of my first novel. It would of taken place a little bit after Link's sucide and it would of been about the hippy girl, Sarah, and Alex moving on with their lives and growing up. In a lot of ways that is the story I did write I just used totally different characters and a different setting. Perhaps in a little bit I will bunker down and just write something else. It isn't like national novel writing month has to happen in november I can do it whenever I want. I am a god damned adult.

Ultimatly though while I had a great deal of fun, the novel isn't my preferred from of expression. I like short stories. There is something nice about them. There is a certain freedom in that just about any idea can be a short story. Far fewer ideas can be contained in the space for a novel. There is also something. This is a something that I am actually really embarrassed about. I have a highly liniear thought process. I mean sure that is nothing to be embarassed about but I don't like having it. I wanted to be a surrealist when I grew up. Not the dick hole surrealists but the actual pure sense of the word surrealist. The sort of person who can throw someone for a loop with a bizarre metaphor and some turtles made of doves. See what I did there? My favorite surrealist metaphor is "It was as beautiful as a chance meeting, on a dissecting table, or a sewing machine and an umbrella." God I love that. I love everything about it.

See I can do things like that but I can't actually do it. Essentially I am faking it until I make it. That is a good way to describe it. I also put my events in order. More than once over the course of the novel I realized that I could of imbued events with so much more meaning if I had certain things displayed as flashbacks or developed certain ideas earlier to be reffrenced later. This is why having an outline and a plan is important. To be fair I didn't know what was going to happen in the middle of the book when I started it. But hey it is national novel writing month and you are just sorta supposed to go with things.

Anyway I am not upset about it but the reason I like the sort stories is that they are contained. They are a unit and they are much easier to manipulate temporally and such like that. Well my lunch is over and am going to go back to work.