Wednesday, March 3, 2010


Looking back that title isn't actually humorous. It was supposed to be spam with that awesome accent the say way damn can come out as dayumn but it isn't working out. Oh well set in stone and all that. Pure tragedy that is. What will all 8 billion of my readers do. Be fictional that's what. Still things change when I know there are people out there so it is beter that I just keep on going it alone. Oh hey before I begin let me get this one ADD thing out of my way...

Okay I need to get a calandar, so that I can plan when I can start tap dancing lessions. I am vaguely serious about this. For some reason I am reminded of the scene in gummo where the mom pulls a gun on her kid to make him smile. Then she goes back to tap dancing in shoes that don't fit her. I tis one of the saddest points in the movie, there is so much in that movie that just plain old breaks my heart. It is so beautifully sad, many people get way to wrapped up in the shocking images and the grotesqueness which is not to be ignored. What they fail to see though, is the beauty of it all, the sort of cold dignity which some of those people try to live their lives as best they can, even when the rest of the world thinks of them as trash. Where Crepe suzet is a mystical thing that is spoken of in hushed whispers where clean socks are worth stealings and cats are meat. It is a beautiful movie, you just need to see it the right way. Sure sure rolling around in the dirt and reveling in how fucked up and shocking it can be is fun too! No doubt. But man. Man, there are some moments which will reach down to the balls of your soul and it will gentally massage them before crushing them into a yellow paste and putting them onto a cracker which is then force fed to your mom. Are balls yellow? I wonder.

SO SPAM how the hell did all of the above happen? I actually had a topic and everything. So this guy started following me on twitter. My tweets are free for everyone to read and I am happy about that. However at some point or another I got on some sort of spam bots list and I get all sorts of bizzare followers. It mostly used to be porn and that made me happy because I am a fan of porn. Sometimes it is just weird though. For example in response to this tweet, "Also while I never got off on Orchids I do get off on Calligraphy...and hugs" I got an orchid grower following me. Strangest thing ever and it made me really wanna watch Adaptation. I think that might happen later on I don't know. I also go some german winter sports feet dollowing me after I posted something about sport's night. Oh yeah I got spam I can't even read! I don't understand how that seemed like a good idea to someone but what the hell.

This guy though. Mr @comeandtakeit12 is one of the most bizarre random spam followers I've ever encountered. First of all his tweets are on a cycle, and it repeats about once a week (okay yeah I am really interested in this spamer would you rather have me stalking you? Okay then shut the hell up). They generally go something like this:

Stop screwing up the US Dollar Obama (Fing Dumb Shit)
Nothing Like a Cold Beer, Cigar and an AR-15 yes ATF in Texas!
Great Idea Obama close Gitmo and hold civilian trial for enemy combatants in Manhattan.(Fing dumb shit)
The Latest News About Dumb Lawmakers From Comeandtakeit12
BAMF (this one is my favorite! What the hell does it mean? Is he a fan of nightcrawler?)
Dont Mess with Texas! Liberal Dumb Shits!

If you noticed he is cool with saying the work shit, but fucking is a little bit to intense for him or something like that. I have no idea and I am slightly traumatized. There is also BAMF! which for some reason makes me really really happy. I'm mentally balanced you leave me the hell alone. Okay no seriously though. So I did a little bit more digging, in that I actually starting clicking on his links and tracking them all over the place. As I suspected most of his links go to the same places. Which seem to be a local news station and a couple of other places I don't have much of a desire hanging around. He is on ten diffrent lists but 4 of those lists are by one person, who isn't a spammer. Her bio claims she is, "News, Politics, Patriot, Military supporter, Mom, Radio Talk Show Host, Prayer Warrior! #TCOT Loves to laugh! Loves Jesus, Pro-Life!" which I guess is why Mr.comeandtakeit has some strange aversion to the word fuck. Why everyone is cool with the word shit is a mystery to me.

A little more poking around and I realized something @comeandtakeit12 is a real person. His name is actually Robert and his centeralized internet prescense can be found here :

He's written some articles. Most of them are myopic, preachy, and they possess a limited world view. Much like many of the things I write here. It is just that we come from opposite sides so I look correct and I have the right to make fun of him as a result. In a way me and Mr. Robert are very similar. We both have strong views, I'd imagine we would both argue powerfully. We both like to write, and we both like using lengthy anecdotes to make our points. I'm more prolific and I bet he has less free time. We both even have foul mouths though he is more of a fan of shit whereas I am more of a fan of the word fuck. The diffrence between us, the fundamental divide that will ensure that the two of us will never, EVER reconcile is the fact that he made a bogus twitter account that is hooked up to some sort of auto follow search thingy and he just recycles tweets in hopes to get his word out there as much as possible. This is a man who hungers to apostatize whereas my attempts to get my word out about my blog can't even be considered half hearted at best.

Spam is that thing. It is a lot like a computer virus only more annoying. Virus's aren't ideological nor do they try to sell you something be it a product or a series of ideas. Spam is just throwing things out there in as wide a net as possible and not caring where anything lands. Robert here has followers in germany, japan, other spam services, and me! Along with roughly 1500 other people who more or less don't give a shit about him because he is a spammer. Some of his articles have been read hundrends of times. Most of them though have been read under 5.

Spam is something that is almot universally abhorred by internet users and now with twitter and facebook it is available to the common man. Anyone can be an asshat spammer and that's...great I guess I don't know. It does, however, seem to me that there is another way to get your word out. A better way. OH WELL.

Sucks to be that guy I guess.

Huh I was also going to use all of this to branch off into talking about the tea party but it is getting late and Books a Million is closing soon which saddens me immensely. Oh well maybe I'll type it up while I am doing laundry later on or something like that. I dunno, definatly kingdom of loathing first though a new toy was released today!

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